Page 64 of Saddles

I hadn’t thought of that being why he’s been resistant. “Is that why you’re keeping me at arm’s length?”

His chuckle is a low rumble. “Hardly. It’s because there’s a million other men out there better than me.”

One of his rough hands slide up my body before his knuckle lifts my chin, snapping my jaw shut. “You look at me all open-mouthed like that, I might put something in it.” With a wink, he untangles himself and rolls off the side of the bed.

Roscoe jumps up and circles near the door.

“I think that is the lamest excuse ever.” Tugging the blanket back over me, I blatantly admire him stretching in the morning sun.

I like how his jeans hang low when he isn’t wearing a belt. What could have happened last night if he took them off? Feeling how hard he was against my hip was such a turn on.

Damn. It is nice outside. Calm too when he lets the dog out.

Fucking sucks.

I want the storm.

“It ain’t an excuse, it’s the truth.” He waves his hand idly around the room. “This isn’t the life you think it is.”

“Is it so bad? I mean, right now, with me?” I sit up and let my lower lip poke out.

“Things aren’t normal in ranch life.” He frowns, running his fingers through his wild dark hair until it falls over his ears.“There’s pulling a dead calf at three in the morning, or being stuck on range for two days because a cow broke its leg and you have to babysit it until the butcher’s truck can make it out.” He takes a long breath, squatting in front of the stove to toss in a log. “I don’t want you thinking it’s all cute and romantic, ‘cause it ain’t.”

“You think ‘normal’—” I throw up air quotations to emphasize my point. “—is PTA meetings and sitting at a desk? Neighborhood barbeques and golf on the weekends? I grew up in that, Ford. It’s fake as shit. My mom was a drunk and my dad was screwing half the cul-de-sac. No one was happy.” I guess I’m making progress since he goes quiet.

He stands, staring at the flames, and runs his palm over his face. When he turns, his lips are thin and his eyes are narrow.

But they soften when he reaches out and cups my cheeks. “You’re a stubborn cuss, ya know?”

He leans over and presses his lips lightly to mine. “No, it ain’t bad at all being here with you. I wish I could go back with you and be there when you gotta deal with all the bullshit.” His cheek rises in a little smirk. “I mean, since we’re friends and all.”

I’ve never had a “friend” give me an orgasm like that before.

My fingers are just starting to thread into his belt loops when he pulls away, clearing his throat.

“Let me get some coffee and food in you before you have to go.” He pulls our cups out and pours each to the rim.

Well, I guess they’re more like his and I borrowed one.

Ouch.

“Will I have time to see Pepper one more time?” I just need to focus on the steaming mug so he doesn’t see that I’m fighting tears.

It shouldn’t hurt this bad.

I barely know him.

But I’ve never felt this safe, or cared for.

“Yea, I’m sure she’d like that. She’s gonna hate me again when you don’t come back.” He pauses, and clenches his jaw.

God, this elephant in the room is crushing me. I want to scream and beg him to tell me he’ll see me again.

But I won’t.

One day at a time. Maybe he’s right, and I’m just the rescued damsel in distress, smitten by my hero.

It doesn’t feel like that though.

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