Page 74 of Saddles

All these doubts are weighing me down.

One shot of whiskey will help calm me.

Okay, two.

Three.

The bottle waivers in my hand over the glass.

Better not. In the off chance she actually does reach out, I don’t want to be a slobbering mess.

That’s what she wanted, right? Someone who answers?

I can be that man.

Staring at the ceiling makes the minutes drag. I really should find a hobby for while I’m up here.

The jarring chime startles me out of a doze.

I must have nodded off.

She has no idea how happy I am to see my own number pop up on the display.

“Hey, you made it.” Relief slumps me back against the pillows.

“Ford…” She pauses. “This is weird being in your house without you. I feel like I’m, I dunno, trespassing.” Her voice is hushed.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, it’s pretty strange here without you.” Why does the admission put a lump into my throat?

Damn alcohol.

“Are you really coming back?” Her breath catches. “I mean, what changed your mind?”

I want to say it’s because of Mason kicking me in the ass.

“You. The thought of you lying in my bed, and then having to deal with all the shit without someone there.” My elbow covers my eyes against the hazy light.

I should be there.

“Which one?” Amusement raises her tone.

“What?” That third shot wasn’t the best idea.

“Which one makes you want to be here more?” Her giggle is muffled, like she’s covering her mouth.

“Fuck, frosty, both,” I groan. “I hope this isn’t a trick question. I want to be your arm to lean on, and the one you lay your head on while you’re naked between my sheets.”

Son of a bitch, I’m hard thinking about it.

“I’d like that,” she says softly. “But why now? Why not tell me you wanted to come back with me? Or ask me to stay until you could leave?”

The look of devastation she gave me moments before she stepped onto the helicopter will haunt me.

“I didn’t know—” I take a shuddering inhale.

This is so damn difficult. I swear she already knows the answer.

Is she testing me?

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