Page 75 of Saddles

“I didn’t know how much I’d miss you until you were gone.” I finally admit with a sigh.

I bet I failed.

There’s a long silence.

Did I lose the connection?

“Ford…”

I can picture her, chewing on her lip.

“I understand why you’re scared to like me—”

I cut her off with a rueful laugh.

“You’re easy to like, April. The part that terrifies me is that you’d be easy to love.”

Fuck whiskey. I’m never drinking again. I should have never said that.

She swallows loud enough I can hear her.

“Would that be so bad?” she whispers.

No. Except it’s a level of agony to lose someone that’s nearly impossible to bear.

“Everyone I’ve loved has died, April. I don’t think I’d survive that again, and that’s what frightens me.” The old ache grips my chest and makes me double up on the blankets.

Roscoe whines from his spot on the floor.

He knows.

“Was there someone else besides Sarah?” Her words are calming, even if the subject is opening old wounds. “I have time before I go to the clinic.”

“It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago, and she never knew. I always kept my distance, since she was happy.” Yet it still hurts knowing she’s gone.

“I’m sorry.” She’s quiet again. “But, look at it this way, I’m so much younger than you, statistically you’ll go before me.” The teasing lilt is back.

How does she manage to do that? Shift me away from the darkness so smoothly?

“So I suppose I should plan on giving you something to remember me by?” My palm finds my throbbing crotch, and I knead myself through my jeans.

“My memory of last night is fading, I think I need a refresher.” Her voice drops into a sultry purr.

“Besides, I freaking adore your family. You might be stuck with me whether you want to or not.”

There’s a faded knock in the background.

My heart races.

I’m not there, but I should be.

Who is it?

Another woman giggles in the background. No, two.

“Ford, I have to go. Char and Sophia are here to go with me. They’re taking me shopping for some new clothes.” She sounds so excited, it makes heat rush through me. “Thank you for letting me stay. I can’t wait for you to get back.”

“You girls have fun.” I click the button before I slip and say more than I should.

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