Page 93 of Saddles

Because I’m not.

Falling to my knees, the fears I’ve carried spill from my eyes.

His rugged features look so relaxed, settled into his frozen bed.

“Ford? If you loved me, why did you give up?” I whisper.

His skin is so cold it burns when I flatten my palms over the tattoos on his heart.

My cheek follows.

I just want to touch him one more time.

“I was safe, Ford. I was just so scared. You gave me an army. But all I wanted is you.” Tears freeze when they meet his blue-tinged flesh.

This isn’t fair.

I’ve been alone my whole life, just going through the motions.

Hell tried to drag me down, but Ford lifted me out.

He was so strong, until he wasn’t.

Anger begins to build in me.

“Why? You gave up on me! We were both broken.” My fist curls and slowly begins to beat his chest. “But broken pieces can come together to make something beautiful, Ford. We could have made a mosaic, like those ones in Italy that have lasted a thousand years.” Frustration knots in my throat as the sobs begin to ravage my body.

Soon, I’m kneeling over him, both hands pummeling him. “You’re a coward!” I scream. “You were afraid to love me! You didn’t have to prove anything to me, Ford.” I collapse again, too weak to yell.

“I loved you, too. The only thing I wanted was more of you.” I lie across him, burying my nose beneath his jaw.

A tremble tickles my nose.

Like a jolt, I sit up fast. Was that a pulse?

My fingers are too fucking cold, so I press my lips against his throat.

Yes.

I felt it again.

The engines have stopped.

“Sawyer!” I scream as loud as I can. “Help me!”

Peeling down the long zipper of my snowsuit, I strip my hoodie off and press my breasts and belly against Ford’s bare torso.

“Let me warm you up.” God, it hurts to force myself against him.

But if there’s any chance at all to save him, it’s worth it.

Within moments, rapid footsteps pound closer.

“Is he alive?” Scott’s green eyes are wide as both men loom over me.

“Yes! We need to get him inside!” I scramble backwards, falling into the deeper bank.

It almost feels warm compared to the icy touch of Ford’s skin.

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