“Just thinking about Mom.” I smear my cheeks trying to clear my eyes.
He slumps against his seat. “Me too. She’d be here to take care of you two.”
God, he’s frustrating. “Devon and I are gonna be fine, Dad. I’ll make sure of it.”
“I figured Char will toss you some money now that she’s tied up with that fancy ranch. Maybe you should hook up with that McCullough kid, he’s got ties enough to keep you fed.” Dad stares out the window.
Completely clueless.
My knuckles turn white as I squeeze the wheel. “No, I’m not working for Char. And Sawyer isn’t my type.”
Dad turns, focusing on me. “Don’t be picky in this world, Lib. Marrying for love is a waste of time. Find someone who’ll take care of you, the rest’ll come later.”
That makes my breath hitch. “Didn’t you and Mom marry for it?” I’m not sure if I want to hear his answer.
“Lib—” He pauses. “—the truth is, I knocked your mom up before I went to boot camp. I didn’t even know you existed until you were three months old, so I did the right thing. We learned how to love each other.” Running his palm over his face, he lets out a sigh. “She sure adored you kids though. Made her happy.”
The world I knew slips sideways.
No wonder he wants to sell the farm. I bet he feels like he was forced into it all, and being a husband and a father.
Fuck.
Cold tendrils wrap my spine. But it almost makes me more sure that what I’m doing is the best decision.
He’ll have his way out.
“What would you have done if I hadn’t come along?” I don’t know why I keep asking questions that might rip me in two.
He lets out a soft chuckle. “Me and some of my Army buddies were fiddling with cars. I always wanted to get into the racing circuit.” The laugh shifts to a groan. “Instead I spent my time fixing tractors and limping farm trucks around.”
Part of my plan when I take over is to set up a maintenance schedule instead of always waiting for shit to break.
I think that’s half the reason why Dad struggled. He’d put everything off until it was an emergency and then it would cost ten times as much to fix.
Now I get it though. He hates it.
Damn. And I represent it all. Does he look at me and wish I wasn’t here?
My chest hurts.
I don’t want to ask. I can’t bear any more truth.
“Just pull in front. You don’t need to go in with me.” He points to the main entrance with its double bay doors.
The last thing I want to do is spend any more time with him. This entire conversation has only made me nauseous. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “I’ll text you when I’m ready.”
My truck rocks when he slams it shut, much like my entire belief system.
There’s one thread that I can pull out of all of this though.
Blue knows exactly who I am. What I do. He’s seen the good and the bad of the numbers for the dairy.
I’m not tricking him, bribing him, or trying to pretend I’m something I’m not.
He didn’t have to offer to buy the buildings.