Page 64 of Refraction

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Go away.Go away. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Let me sleep. Just leave me alone. I miss him.

How long had Timmy been knocking? Calvin sat up and stared at the door. Wait. Was Timmy knocking, or was that pounding in his head? He covered his ears and then uncovered them again. Fuck. It was both.

He felt hungover, but he hadn’t had a thing to drink. The only binge he’d been on was sleep and some hot, frustrated tears.

“Timmy,” he croaked. His throat felt like sandpaper. “Go away.”

“No. No way, Cal. You’re gonna starve or something.”

“I starve for a living.”Ow. He swallowed hard, or tried to. “Okay, fine. Bring me some water, then?”

“I can do that.” It seemed to just take a second before Timmy handed him a bottle. “It’s open. Be careful. What happened? Was he a fucker to you?”

He looked at Timmy, wondering what Timmy wanted him to say while he sipped the water slowly. He really didn’t want to bring it back up. “No? And yes, a little. I kind of wish I could just say yes. I mean, I don’t. And I do. It would be simpler.”

“Okay. Okay, do you need me to call out a hit on him?”

Fuck, he didn’t feel like smiling. But that was funny. “Cute.” He sipped his water again. “I don’t know how to explain it without you…. I just can’t explain it. It sounds petty, and it’s so not.”

“Hey, I’m on your side. He sucks. Whatever he did, it was wrong. Fuck him.” Okay, that was adorable.

“Timmy, you’re the best friend an idiot like me could ask for.” Because he’d picked this fight. However wrong he thought Tucker was, it wasn’t Tucker who’d started it. He squinted at Timmy. “What day is it?”

“Uh, Friday. You’ve been crashed out hard. A package came for you. Some mail. You want something to eat?”

“What have you got? What time is it?” Where was his phone? He didn’t really want to function today. But he’d basically been in bed since Wednesday. He didn’t feel like dealing with mail or packages. That was all too real-world for him right now.

“There’s some yogurt, half a pizza, uh… sandwich stuff, and a can of tomato soup.” Timmy grinned at him, eyebrows waggling. “Green and some olives.”

Oh. Perfect.The distraction of a movie and little dose of I don’t give a shit might be exactly what he needed today. “Pizza, olives, green, andFifth Element.” And, like, four more bottles of water. Jesus, he was thirsty.

“I’m so totally in. I’ll warm up the pizza. You grab the bong.” Timmy came to him and hugged him, sort of awkwardly, but it was a hug, and he needed it.

He probably held on too long, but the solid touch stopped that feeling of freefall and put some ground under him again. “Thanks, Timmy.” He let Timmy go and gave him a wink. “Bong. On it.”

He should shower, but he just couldn’t deal with standing up that long. He slid out of bed with a sigh, realizing he was still wearing the same T-shirt he’d been wearing at Tucker’s.

“Gross.” He changed into clean everything, making sure it was all soft and comfy, and then dug the rainbow glass bong out of the back of the coat closet.

Chilling with Timmy was familiar and comforting, so he tried to get into it. Company was good, and he already knew that weed made him chatty. He’d tell Timmy what happened and be in a better state to listen.

“What kind of pizza is it?” He leaned in the doorway to the kitchen, letting the wall hold him up.

“Ham and pineapple. I was craving. Come on, Cal. Sit. Don’t drop the pipe.”

“Oh.” He looked at it. Yeah, that was probably a good idea. He set it on the coffee table. “Ham and pineapple? You are way too Cali sometimes.” He’d have a couple of bites, but it sounded vile.

“It’s good. I swear. You’ll like it.”

Right. Not in this lifetime or the next.

He plopped down on the sofa, surprised when Timmy put a piece of pepperoni in front of him. “Derp. I got a half and half.”

“Itotallyshould have known you were messing with me, dude,” he teased, doing his best Timmy-the-surfer-boy impression, and picked up the pizza, hoping it would be okay in his completely empty stomach. It tasted amazing, and he let the spicy pepperoni sit on his tongue for a minute and make his mouth water. “Oh, yum.”

“It doth not suck, dude.” Timmy got the bowl filled and took a long drag, the water bubbling merrily away as he sucked.

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