Page 19 of The Sharpest Edges

Any progress he made over the last few weeks is gone when he shuffles into the infirmary and he’s right back where he started the first day he met Ava. Broken and weak. He doesn’t want her to see him like this and avoids lookingat her, preferring to count the grout lines on the floor.

Once they’re alone he expects she might say something, but she doesn’t. He watches her feet get closer and closer until she’s standing in front of him and yet she remains quiet, as if waiting for him to speak first.

He can’t.

“Dean…”

Her voice is a decibel above a whisper, so careful and gentle, but he shakes his head, hoping she won’t make him recount what happened.

She takes another step and if he could back away, he would. He’d crawl right up onto the bed and push himself into the wall to avoid whatever comfort she wants to offer, if only because he doesn’t deserve it. He let himself get into this mess in the first place and wasn’t strong enough to stop it.

The unexpected touch of her fingers against the back of his hand almost prompts him to lift his head, but he resists. One moment of eye contact and she’ll see how wrecked he is. Her palm curls over his knuckles and it occurs to him that this is the first time they’ve touched when it wasn’t required to treat his injuries. He must be weak as fuck because instead of backing away like he thought he wanted to, he leans forward instead, some invisible thread pulling him toward the only source of warmth and safety he’s seen in days.

She takes his slight movement as permission to glide her touch up his arm and over the round of his shoulder, leaving trails of goosebumps in her wake.

He isn’t sure he can hold it together and really, he shouldn’t be having such a hard time. Sure, he’s got a broken toe, a few cuts, and his whole body hurts. He had to spend a few days naked on the floor. So what? Who cares?

He’s had so much worse. Felt worse. Never broke then and he won’t now.

Layering new wounds on top of old ones is a tricky thing, though, and they’ve begun to dig a crater into the flimsy spaces he thought long healed. He can feel the heat of Ava’s body, smell the fabric softer she uses on her clothes and the deodorant she wears, cucumbers and melon.

The moment her hand leaves his shoulder and flutters over the back of his head, he is lost. Gone. No hope for resistance anymore and he melts into her touch like he’d been waiting for it all along. His forehead brushes against her belly, ready for her to shove him away, but she doesn’t and so he rests there as her arms wrap around him in a loose hold. She is the first person to hug him in so many years he’s lost count. Physical contact isn’t something he enjoys or yearns for, but right now he soaks up every stroke of her fingers through his damp hair while her touch chases away the panic that plagued him for the last two days.

He could stay here forever. This is all he’d ever need.

“Tell me where you’re hurting,” she asks.

“Broke my toe again. Same one. Got some cuts on my side that won’t close up. They feel deep.”

She steps back and he leans forward until the cuffs stop him, wishing for the contact he didn’t know he wanted before he got here.

“Shit.” She scowls at his foot, then lifts his shirt to gasp at the gash in his side. “I’ll tell the doctor you slipped and fell in the bathroom, scraped yourself up. Ask him to let you stay here for a few days, minimum. You need a head start on healing and I’m worried that if you go back in the pod you won’t get a chance before this open wound gets infected.”

“But I can’t…if they think—”

She cuts him off with a firm shake of her head. “You won’t be snitching. Slip and falls happen here. You won’t be the first to end up getting an extended stay after multiple injuries. The state doesn’t want to pay for treating infections.”

He wants to believe her, but it feels like false hope that could put him in an even worse situation once he’s forced back into the pod. She’s already heading for the door though, giving him no time to object and throwing over her shoulder that she’ll be back with the doctor.

In the end, it works out as she said it would. His toe is reset and wrapped, his cuts are stitched up and disinfected, and the doctor agrees that he’s at risk for infection if he goes back before they heal, mumbling under his breath that it can’t be that hard to keep from playing in sewer water, as if Dean did it on purpose.

He’s granted a week-long stay in the back part of the infirmary that he hasn’t seen before. It’s small, with only three beds, all empty except for him. It’s clean and dry and the sun shines through the full-size window across from him. There are bars covering it secured by a small lock that he suspects takes an even smaller key, but he can see signs of life outside. Cars and buildings and people. Sounds from the freeway filtering in unchecked.

It all feels like the best hotel he could book a stay at, and even better, it comes complete with his favorite person. Maybe it’s okay to rest for a while. Maybe it’s okay to enjoy the view.

9

Chapter 9

Now that Ava has unlimited access to Dean, she isn’t quite sure what to do with it.

It’s only the first day, but she’s tempted to pop in and check on him more than she needs to. It’s silly, and she’s tamped the urge back down and ignored it so far. She only shows up to give him his meds in the morning, twice the original dose.

Except now here she is, grabbing his food from the cafeteria, making certain to take an extra dinner roll and a heaping spoonful of mashed potatoes. Today’s offering doesn’t look half bad, but someone else could take this to him. One of the guards like they’re supposed to, but she already waved off the guard on duty and given herself this responsibility. Too late to turn back now.

It’s only lunch. No harm in that. She has the time off anyway and he needs that extra roll.

When she enters the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click, she’s struck by how much better he looks already. He’s on a long chain attached to one wrist, only long enough to reach the bathroom and the bed. It’s something she mightsee on a circus animal and she wants nothing more than to remove it. She doesn’t, of course. They’ve broken plenty of rules so far, but that one is a hard line and she needs this job, so she ignores the restraints.

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