Page 55 of The Sharpest Edges

She’s been stranded in the desert so long that she forgot what water tasted like, hadn’t craved it anymore, and was doing a decent job of surviving without it. But now that she’s had a taste, she can’t quench her thirst, and all she wants is another drink. Thoughts of Dean doing impossibly naughty things to her won’t help her right now, in a back booth at a cafe a block away from work. She’s off today but it’s a good meetingplace to have a much-needed conversation with Lori and a little sugar might help this all go down smoother.

A slice of pie will be her backup.

Lori wanted to hash everything out over the phone the night before, worried and upset after hearing more rumors from the prison grapevine. Somehow, Ava had been able to push her confession to a lunch date, giving herself enough time to prepare, or stress depending on the moment.

She’s got a mug of steaming hot tea between her hands when Lori breezes through the door and then Ava is face to face with the person she’s been avoiding for the past week, maybe longer. Suddenly, all the mental rehearsing in the world feels completely useless.

Neither says a word for a long, tense moment until Lori breaks the silence. “Talk to me? Tell me what’s going on? Because what I heard can’t actually be real life.”

Now or never. This was always inevitable and the last thing she can stomach is denying him or what they have together. But first…a little clarification. “What did you hear?”

“Just the same as before, that you’ve been seeing that man from work. The inmate, only that this time he’s out, that you’re seeing him on the outside, which is way worse. Tell me it’s not true?”

“It’s true,” she says matter-of-factly, watching emotions flit across Lori’s face like fireworks.

“How long? Why didn’t you say anything? Are you okay?”

The first two questions are reasonable enough, but the last one rakes its nails along her spine, making her huff out a disgruntled sound, protective of Dean, as if she’s automatically in danger by his proximity alone. Still, she tries to remember that Lori is only this worried because Ava has done a bang-up job of avoiding this conversation. Of course, she fears the worst with only rumors and her imagination to fill in the blanks.

“A couple of weeks, but it was before that, too. When he was still inside, when I told you before it was nothing that wasn’t true. I was afraid to say anything and at that point I wasn’t even sure what this was. I didn’t want you to talk me out of it.” She pauses, choosing to hope that the hurt look Lori wears is only temporary. “And yes, I’m fine. Better than fine.”

Maybe there was a lit in her voice at that last part or some sort of tell on her face, like the world’s worst poker player because in an instant Lori connects the sparse amount of dots, coming to the conclusion that what’s happening between her and Dean has already passed whatever base equals orgasmic bliss.

“Ava, did you sleep with him? Has he been to your house? He knows where you live?”

Lori is panicked, nearly shrieking into the space between them, but somehow the volume of her words remains above a whisper, conscious of not spreading their business to the other patrons.

“He’s been to my house and yes, I slept with him. I haven’t been with anyone other than John. I didn’t know it could be like that. I didn’t know that I could want it like that.”

Ava never went into details about how bad it was between her and John, but that sort of thing is impossible to hide from someone close enough to see it and Lori had been close. Much as John tried to isolate her from the outside world, she still had one friend, even if their visits were few and far between, and scheduled according to healing injuries.

The happiness that spreads across her face is unexpectedenough to make Lori’s expression go soft, easing away from the horror it held only a moment ago. “He didn’t hurt you? Have you heard from him since then?”

The idea of Dean hurting her in bed is absurd, but only because she knows how gentle he is, and how much control he has. Only because she trusts him. It wasn’t long ago that she had the same fears. She tries to let her friend in as much as she can without giving her graphic details. Lori has earned the truth, something Ava should have given her a long time ago.

“I know all you have in your head right now is the image of an inmate taking advantage of me.” Lori looks like she’s about to break in and cut her off, say something about how that’s not true but Ava holds up an abrupt hand. “No, it’s okay. I haven’t made the best choices. I married someone who beat me so clearly I don’t have the best track record. You’re right to worry, but I swear to you that Dean is the last person who’d ever hurt me.”

Lori might be coming around. Her frown eases while she listens so Ava keeps going.

“He saved me that day of the riot. I’d be dead or worse right now if he didn’t and he wasn’t in prison for anything violent. Had pot in his car during a traffic stop. Something his brother put there, which I know sounds like a stupid excuse, but I believe him. Six months, first offense. He’s not some hardened criminal and we can’t help where we meet someone, right? I’m so glad I met him, Lori. I feel so different when I’m with him. Safer. Happier.”

Lori leans back in her chair, pensive and that’s when Ava realizes her eyes are wet, that the last few lines of her rushed explanation prompted a few unshed tears to gather and aweight to settle in her chest, heavy and warm, at the idea of how true her words are.

She opens her phone, flicking to the text screen between her and Dean filled with silly conversations and emoji flowers, photos of panda, and smilie faces. “To answer your last question, I’ve definitely heard from him since then.”

Lori’s eyebrows shoot up when she sees the screen, taking in the fact that Dean hasn’t fucked her and ran.

“Wow okay. So that’s a good sign. You’re sure about this? Really sure? Because if you’re not it’s okay, I know someone that I’ve been thinking of nudging you toward anyway. He works at the Home Depot. Greg knows him. Seems nice and easy going and don’t look at me like that. Your face is all screwed up like you smelled something bad.”

Ava cringes. The very idea of being with anyone else makes her stomach drop and the inside of her cheeks prickle like she wants to throw up in her mouth a little bit. There is no one else for her. She’s certain of it. It takes a special person to get past all the walls she’s put up and Dean has scaled every one like an expert mountain climber. “I’m not dating some guy from Home Depot, Lori. Why don’t you date him? He seems nice, right? Safe and easygoing?”

Lori’s face falls on a huff of frustration. “I’m married. It’s different.”

“Being married doesn’t stop plenty of people. The real reason is because you love your husband and the idea of cheating on him with anyone else makes you feel a little sick. Am I right?”

That’s when Ava realizes what she’s said, setting herself up perfectly for the next question that hits the air like a bullet.

“Are you saying you love him?”

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