Page 27 of Until You Found Me

It’s a casual gesture on his part, one that he is careful to keep well above any questionable areas, but heat blooms between her legs in a sizzle that shocks her.

His face twitches a beat like a nervous tick, realization crossing his features as he swallows hard, breaking eye contactto look back at his bowl of dessert.

There’s a visceral need deep in her bones that tells her to crawl into his lap and press her lips to his, nestle between the only arms that feel safe, and burrow under his skin until no one else can touch her. The sudden desire is strong enough to be terrifying. Momentarily, she considers going for it before regaining control.

She can’t fuck this up.

She won’t.

He only means everything to her becausehe is everything to her.

It’s only the bond of trauma that has her feeling so strongly. Only the sting of shared pain makes her assume them intertwined. She clears her throat, changing the subject. “You’re okay to eat all this sugar? I don’t want to make you sick.”

“I’m good. Can’t go too crazy, but so long as I got insulin I’m fine.”

“You say that like there are times you don’t have it.”

“Sometimes I don’t.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Mhmm. It is what it is, though. Don’t have insurance and that shit’s expensive. Real expensive. They keep talking about capping the cost but nothing ever happens. It’s not a big deal. I make do. Always figure something out.”

“There has to be something someone can do,” she says. “It’s cruel that you’re expected to go without at all. It’s not an optional thing, not some luxury…sorry, sorry I’m talking like I have any idea how this works when you’ve been dealing with it your whole life.”

“That’s the system. It doesn’t give a fuck about anyone. Medications that cost hundreds here are fifty bucks down inMexico or up in Canada. How crazy is that?”

Her brows raise. “Are you serious?”

“I go up to Canada sometimes and get it cheaper there but can’t make the trip as often as I need to. Not as close as it looks. Need a hotel overnight, need gas to get there and back. That’s time I could have spent fishing for a bigger catch or hunting for the butcher. Sailing takes even longer.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go through all that trouble to buy something you need to stay alive,” she says sadly, wondering how he’s managed to handle the stress of it all these years.

He slides her an unbothered look. “It’s nothing. I made it this far, right? Nothing can kill us except one of us, is what my sister always said.”

“Oh, she sounds like a peach,” Tessa snorts, taking a chance and nudging him with her shoulder in a playful bump. “I hope you get to take that trip one day soon.”

“Me too. Have you ever been to Canada?”

Her lips purse. “Many times. I have fully intact memories of those vacations.”

He sucks some air between his teeth. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay to joke about it sometimes. I have to, otherwise I’ll cry again.”

She looks down at the cookie in her hand, her thoughts straying to the one thing she’s been trying to ignore all evening because it’s too heavy to let it fester out in the open. Is her daughter still there with that monster? Is she wondering where her mother is and why Tessa left her behind? She looks over at Logan, who’s gone quiet, and opens her mouth a fraction as if to let all her worries tumble out. He’s the only safe person to receive them andhe is here, but she refuses to ruin a good moment.

It’s then that she’s once again aware of their proximity. Her eyes cast downward toward his mouth, betraying her need for comfort, for normalcy, for the type of distraction that might consume her enough to block out the terrors. That’s all it would be. Only a distraction, nothing more. Could never be anything else.

Her intention must be obvious. It’s not like she’s made much effort to hide where her gaze has landed, but he turns away to stare at the flames licking the inside of the wood stove.

“It’s getting late. I should turn in,” he says quietly.

“Okay.”Stay with me. Don’t go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here.”You should be here, too. Don’t leave.

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