“I told you it was okay. Want me to come over?” Even as he says the words, they feel forward and presumptuous.
‘No, it’s late. I woke you up, I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.’
“Tessa—”
‘I’ll be fine. It just gave me a scare, that’s all.’
“I can come over if you want. I wasn’t sleeping anyway.”
‘Are you sure?’
“I’m sure. Be there in five.”
She wouldn’t have used the radio if she didn’t want him there, he tells himself, already grabbing his pants and a shirt, convinced this is the right reaction even as insecuritiesprompt doubt. Why would she want him there? He can barely control his own night terrors, what good is he to anyone else?
He tosses the radio on the bed and rolls on some deodorant. Sniffs himself twice and then whistles for the dog, figuring if he fails at offering any comfort himself, at least she won’t turn away that rotten animal’s cute face.
The fear in her tone stays with him all the way across the field, though he expects she’ll push it aside when he gets there and tell him everything is fine. That she shouldn’t have woken him and apologize again, but his knuckles only brush the surface of her door before she opens it and flings herself into his arms.
Shock stiffens his body and tenses his muscles. He’s not used to being this close to anyone, and he already knows he’s not good at it. Her head tucks under his chin and her arms weave around his waist, all while his own lift like bird wings in the wind, afraid to touch her after she’s already plastered herself to him. Her breath shudders with every inhale, body trembling. She must have seen a horror movie behind her closed lids to seek safety with him like this.
Slowly, his arms lower and curve, cradling her in his embrace while she melts against him in the doorway. He can’t be failing yet if she hasn’t flinched away.
“It’s okay,” he says uselessly, knowing it isn’t.
“It was so awful.” Tessa sniffles, leaning away far enough to lift her head and meet his eyes with her red, puffy ones, fat tears still rolling hot down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t,” he lies.
Logan brushes a tear off her face, curving his thumb across her cheekbone. There’s a moment’s doubt in his gut that thissmall movement is overstepping, but her eyes flutter shut and she leans into his palm like a love-starved cat.
“Come in, it’s cold.” She breaks away to welcome him inside and he already misses having her close.
“You wanna stay up or try to sleep again?”
“I dunno…can you…sit with me? In bed? And maybe I’ll fall asleep once I calm down. Everything feels tingly right now like I’m having some sort of out-of-body experience. My head is light and my fingers are fuzzy.”
“Been hyperventilating?”
“A little.”
“Yeah, that’ll do it. You’ll be alright, just need to breathe slow, okay? Come on and get in bed.”
He walks across the open space and tugs the covers back as if to tuck her in, feeling like he’s teasing plenty of boundaries, but she doesn’t question it. She doesn’t tell him to leave or hesitate. In fact, she sits up against the pillows with white teeth snagging on her lower lip and asks him to join her.
“Or you can sit in the chair if you’re more comfortable there. The bed is huge, though. There’s plenty of room. We can even stack pillows between us to preserve your honor.”
“My honor.” He snorts at her gentle teasing.
She wants him to get in bed with her.
She’s afraid.
It’s platonic.
It means nothing. Calm the fuck down.
He gets in quickly, hoping it’ll keep him from overthinking it. All he succeeds in doing is creaking the box spring and shaking the whole thing on its frame. He adjusts the pillow and clears his throat, wishing he wasn’t making everything so damn awkward when she only needs companyto fall asleep without fearing her nightmares.