Page 45 of Until You Found Me

“What good has it done me? That’s what I’ll do when he comes back. I’ll freeze. I’ll fail. I’ll let him kill me because I’m too afraid.”

“You had one hiccup, but that doesn’t mean you will every time. We’ll keep trying. Give yourself a break for tonight. Let’s go back in and warm up?”

She lets him tug her to her feet and she falls in step beside him on the way to the trailer. She’s caught in too many conflicting emotions that yank her in opposite directions until she isn’t sure anymore what she feels or who she is.

The rough touch of her ex still burns her skin. She needs to shower him off her body and makes a beeline for the bathroom without a word, shutting herself in. Tries not to cry under the spray but it’s a struggle, and even when she’s clean her tears scratch at her subconscious.

She refuses to look in the mirror, doesn’t even wipe the fog away. Her own weakness would only stare back and she isn’t in the mood to confront it tonight. Tessa reaches for the clothes she forgot to bring and sighs, wrapping a towel around herself before emerging in a puff of steam to search them out.

Logan turns around at her footsteps with a fresh coffee cup in hand. Her near nakedness shocks him and he pauses, his eyes ranking across her bare skin, adam’s apple bobbing with a hard swallow.

“I um, coffee. Got you some coffee,” he says, stating the obvious.

“Thanks. Forgot my clothes before I ran in there.”

She’s stuck between him and the bedroom where her meager pile of clothing waits. It should be simple to turn away, but there’s a longing deep in her belly that coaxes her toward a different choice. A remedy that can cleanse the touch of a monster more effectively than hot water and soap.

“You can come closer,” she says carefully, holding the towel to herself, her words almost a challenge.

He hesitates, and she thinks he might reject her offer. It’s the wrong time, anyway. She shouldn’t try to force it, but then the coffee is deposited on the table and he approaches with slow steps, stopping toe to toe with her.

Desiring this now might be wrong but she craves a sense of normalcy and comfort. Half of her is drawn to Logan in this moment because of what her heart feels for him. The other half only wants to feel the touch of someone she trusts.

It might be wrong, but she isn’t in any shape to listen to the warning bells. He’s a soft place to land amid her horrors. So, she slides a hand up his chest, uncertain of what exactly shewants but knowing he can give it to her.

He dips his head as if to kiss her, waiting in case she flinches or freezes, but she remains eager to feel the warmth of his mouth on hers. The first press is slow, and his tongue slips across her seam while his hand cups the nape of her neck. Then they stumble toward the bedroom and her back connects against the closed door with a light thump. She might reach for the knob if his hand wasn’t already trailing up her thigh, his lips sliding to her pulse point where he suckles against her heated skin.

“Need to know you’re sure about this.” he breathes.

She has no doubt that he would back away if she said so. He’d offer her that cup of luke warm coffee with a lopsided, shy smile and they’d watch movies in bed, pretending she never came on to him but she doesn’t take the out. Doesn’t allow the nagging worry that tells her he deserves someone easier, better, less broken, to ruin one more thing.

“I’m sure,” she whispers, lifting one leg to hook over his hip.

She expects he might push into her the moment his pants are down, but he never unzips them, only snakes a hand between them tracing a finger where she’s opened, his hand disappearing under the towel and his kiss on her lips again.

He’s careful at first, running the pads of two fingers where she’s swollen with need before dipping down to slip one digit inside, sheathing it to the second knuckle. He growls against her mouth when she rolls her hips, trying to take more. She wonders what the rest of him will feel like when she’s already comfortably full from one thick finger.

When he adds another, she squirms, her breath hitching on a curse. Her body grips him tight like he was always meant to be exactly where he is and her swift kiss keeps him therebefore he can question himself. He picks up a fumbled rhythm, curving his fingers, pulling them out to the tips and pushing back in, testing out what she likes. He reads every moan and gasp, making adjustments until she’s vibrating with the need for release. She leans her head back against the door, his face buried in the curve of her neck and buried fingers rolling in time with her hips.

She thinks of nothing but him. Her world narrows to the finest point that only includes his touch, his lips, the way he makes her feel, and then she’s coming before she can realize it’s snuck up on her. Spasms rock her hard enough that her legs buckle. He catches her with an arm under her ass, holding her up as she clenches, grinding herself against the heel of his hand, pinned between him and the door.

When it finally subsides, she’s pleasantly numb and useless, legs like jelly. She frowns when he pulls out of her, missing him already, but he gathers her up, carrying her to the bed to deposit her there against fluffy pillows.

She gazes up at him with hooded eyes, reaching for his buckle, absolutely certain that she’s about to feel him in a whole new way when he stops her.

“I’m okay. I want this to be for you.”

The bulge in his pants tells her he is most definitely not okay. “I want you, Logan.”

She assumed he only needed extra assurance, but he moves back to sit on the edge of the bed instead of covering her with his body.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

Chapter 11

So much of what used to be complicated is easy with Tessa and he doesn’t know why.

Logan has little experience in things like holding someone close or comforting them. It makes him uneasy for a multitude of reasons, but with her, his arms know where to fit around her body and his words don’t sound quite as useless.

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