Page 7 of Until You Found Me

“Spent some time here over the years. They tell me there’s no chemicals in the food, but I swear there’s an aftertaste. Here…” He fishes out a bag of M&Ms from his pocket. “This is better. Came straight from the vending machine, no weird stuff in it.”

Her eyes widen and her mouth waters, but she hesitates. “I don’t wanna take your food.”

“Got it for you. Know exactly what they’ve fed you and figured you might want something decent.”

She takes the candy like a child with a gift on Christmas morning, almost giddy with excitement. She knows she loves chocolate just like she knew she loved coffee. Despite being on the floor moments ago, she quickly smiles at the first bite. “Oh my god, it’s amazing.”

He makes a little huffing noise like he’s amused by her reaction. For all her embarrassment and worry, he seems to rival it with a shy wariness. His leg won’t stop bouncing and he’s barely looked her in the eye more than twice. When there’s a loud bang out in the hall, a dropped clipboard, or someone bumping into equipment, he flinches like a wild animal expecting a hunter’s bullet. She files that away for later, if there is a later.

“Want some?” She holds out a few pieces, offering him back some of what he’d gifted her, and to her delight he takes it. “You smell good.”

He raises a brow.

She’s flustered herself all over again. Is she always thisterrible at being social? “The vanilla and…salt? I dunno. Sorry, that came out weird. I’m not even sure what I’m saying anymore.”

“Was worried I’d smell like fish. Used all the hot water in the shower and washed my hands twenty times.”

“Why fish?”

“Spent most of the day on the boat. It’s what I do, fishing. Most days anyway.”

“The boat? We’re by water?”

“The ocean. You’re right on the east coast. Cops didn’t tell you?”

She sighs, inhaling more candy. “We didn’t talk about geography. They asked me a bunch of questions I couldn’t answer and by the time they were done, I’d forgotten what I wanted to ask them. That’s how that went.”

“Did they tell you what the plan is?”

Her shoulders slump and she fidgets with the wrapper. “Put my face on some posters or milk cartons, I guess. Took my fingerprints and mug shot and said they’d run me through some database and that was it. They don’t…they ah…no one knows who did…this. There are no leads yet. They said they were going to talk to you about what you saw.”

“Carl did this morning. Wasn’t much help, though. I only saw you.”

Only saw her, broken and bloody like a zombie on the road. What a sight she must have been.

“I haven’t thanked you yet for what you did. You saved my life, Logan, and then you came back and brought me chocolate, and I—” She sniffles, trying to shove a tear in with the back of her hand because she’s cried enough today already. “Thank you.”

He ducks his head, a flush spreading on his cheeks that mirrors the one she wore earlier. He’s uncomfortable now, not willing or able to accept gratitude, so he diverts instead. “I’ll bring you chips next time. Mix it up.”

“You don’t have to keep coming back, really. I’ll be okay now. You have a life and a job and plenty of other things to worry about, I’m sure.”

“So that’s a no on the chips, then? Not a fan of salty food?”

Her lips curve up in a half smile. “I don’t know. I’d like to find out, though.”

“Alright then, tomorrow we’ll find out if you like barbecue or salt and vinegar.”

She should tell him again that he isn’t obligated to come back, but she’s selfish at the moment and she wants him to. She’s more relaxed in his company than she’s been since she opened her eyes underground.

“It’s so strange,” she says softly. “I still feel like me. I just don’t know who that is. Maybe I hate chips, maybe I snore, maybe I put the milk back in the fridge when the carton is empty. I could be a good person or a horrible one. I could deserve what happened for all I know.”

“No one deserves that. Not a chance. And you know your name, that’s something.”

“Audrey said amnesia is a mystery. No one knows how it works or if my memory will come back. That knowing I fell out of an apple tree when I was nine at my grandmother’s house but can’t remember her address or her face, or her name, is normal and it could come back in phases. Like any of this is anywhere close to normal.”

“Audrey is the best at all this. If she’s telling you it’ll come back, then it’s alright to believe her.”

Tessa wants to believe and doesn’t. The letdown would be far too great if she never regains anything. At the same time, she isn’t sure she wants to remember when the current state of her brain is already a jumbled, horrific mess. She goes quiet, having finished her candy and feeling foolish for laying so many burdens on this man who only happened upon her by chance.

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