Page 71 of Until You Found Me

The worst part is what comes next, though they assure him dialysis is painless.

The worst part is accepting the diagnosis tossed into his lap as if he has any idea what to do next.

Audrey tries to break it down into easy to manage steps, but Logan still stares at her like she grew an extra head. He’s moving in slow motion, stuck in molasses, and letting himself get sucked under while Tessa watches it happen, caught in her own brand of terror that rivals anything she felt that dayin the woods. Logan had rescued her then. Now, he’s the one who needs rescuing, and she fears she’ll only fail him.

He’s been silent since Audrey dropped that bomb of a transplant and that’s how Tessa knows he must be afraid. There are no snide comments or sarcastic remarks. No complaints about the bill running up after an hour of testing and ultrasounds and whatever else they could throw at him to confirm their suspicions. He is quiet and pliable. Not the same man she had to fight to come here.

The only sign of his awareness is a sharp flinch when a nurse misses a vein and has to stab him twice.

Tessa hisses out a reprimand since Logan won’t do it himself and gets an excuse that if he’d remained still, she wouldn’t have missed. She has to bite her tongue to keep from flinging out a scathing reply.

“It’s alright. Felt worse,” Logan says when they’re alone again.

“It’s not alright. People like that don’t need to work in a place like this if they can’t be professional.” Tessa’s temper has a hair trigger now. The stress of the day twists at her core until she’s the type of person to snap at nurses. “Do you need anything? Thirsty?”

“No. Nothing.”

What can I do?She wants to ask.Give me a task. Give me a plan. Show me how to help.

She slips her hand into his while blood funnels out a long tube to be whirled around and pushed back in again. It’s a dizzying process.

‘His body can’t clean his blood anymore, so we have to do it for him.’ Audrey explained. All Tessa can do is watch a stream of crimson dart back and forth while knowing it never shouldhave left his veins in the first place.

“Don’t look at me like that. Still kicking for now,” he says with a forced half grin, only for her benefit.

“We need to talk to Audrey about—”

“About what?” Audrey cuts her off with a sad smile, turning to Logan. “Feeling okay? Are the pain meds helping?”

“Mhmm. Just can’t look at that, or I’ll hurl.” He gestures to the arm currently being sucked dry.

“Never pegged you for getting nauseous around blood.”

“It’s different when it’s buckets of my own.”

“Fair enough. What did you want to talk to me about?”

It’s been a whirlwind since they walked through the clinic doors. They’ve been rushed from place to place, with little chance to do anything but obey. Buried in a mountain of pamphlets and given pages of literature that may as well be written in another language.

It’s kept them both quiet for the most part, but Tessa’s more than ready to offer what should have been the first words out of her mouth. “About testing me to be a donor.”

“No way,” Logan grunts, resting his head back against the padded chair. “You’re not doing that.”

“Says who? It’s my kidney. If I want to give it to you, that’s my choice.”

“Yeah, and it’s my choice not to take it.”

“I promise it’s not contaminated,” she replies with an irritated huff. “It’s a perfectly useful kidney.”

“I’m sure the sun shines directly out of it, but that’s not what I meant. I’m not letting you ruin your life because of me. Not happening.”

She glares at him, her frustration mounting. She hadn’t expected him to be so against the idea and facedwith his refusal, she struggles for an effective reply. “Ruin my life? That’s dramatic. I’m pretty sure I only need one kidney.”

Audrey gives her a nod but chooses to stay out of this argument.

“See, she says I only need one. That means I have one to give to whoever I want and just so happens I’d like to give it to you.”

“No. I don’t want it.”

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