Page 72 of Until You Found Me

“Because you’re trying to protect me from ruining my life when losing you would do exactly that? Makes a whole lotta sense.”

What she thought would be a simple conversation has turned into their first fight. The train has left the station and they’re both plowing full steam ahead, unwilling to relent.

“It won’t,” he says calmly. “You’ll move on, and that’s exactly what I want you to do.”

The tension in the room rises and her eyes flare. How could he assume she’d move on as if he means nothing to her? It’s hurtful and wrong and for the first time since she’s known him, he’s managed to inflict the type of pain on her heart she assumed he never could.

Thankfully, Audrey pipes in to keep her from saying something she’ll regret. “Okay, let’s calm down. You’re both getting ahead of yourselves. There’s testing involved in securing a match and the odds of that happening are slim. Not impossible, but slim. Before either of you get worked up about this, we need to see if you have compatible blood types. If you don’t, then this whole conversation is pointless. Okay?”

“Already pointless because I’m not taking her kidney, even if she is a match,” Logan says.

Tessa looks toward Audrey, her tone incredulous. “Are you listening to this? He’s being ridiculous. Take my blood, take it right now.”

“So fucking stubborn,” he growls.

“How about I leave you with this useful pamphlet that explains all the benefits and risks involved with donation? You can have this discussion when he isn’t hooked up to a dialysis machine,” Audrey offers with a tense smile that quickly fades when she turns to Logan. “Don’t be stupid. Read the damn pamphlet, and keep calm while your blood is circulating at the speed of light.”

And then she’s gone, leaving them both to stew in their disagreement.

“I am calm,” he mutters, tossing the pamphlet onto the side table.

“I might not even be a compatible match. We can’t make any decisions until we know, anyway.”

“Already made my decision. Not letting them cut you open and steal your organs because I’m fucking defective. Still got time before we need to…don’t wanna talk about this now. Don’t wanna fight with you. Please. Please, just sit with me?”

She relents because he’s supposed to remain calm, but all she wants to do is fight until he sees reason. Instead, she curls up in the chair beside him, tucks her legs underneath, and offers him her hand. They have two hours of this before he can be discharged, if that’s even an option. She tries not to spend it all imagining what it’ll be like when he’s gone and she’s alone.

* **

They want to keep Logan overnight for observation. He only shrugged and said it didn’t matter anymore, let them fuss over him a bit more, and willingly took up an empty bed like it was no big deal.

His complacency worries Tessa as much as the state of his kidneys.

‘So here are the cliff’s notes on the money situation.’Audrey told them earlier, matter of fact and professional, even if the look on her face said she hated having to say it.‘Medicare will pay for dialysis, which is good. They’ll also pay for a transplant, which is even better, but after three years they won’t pay for the drugs to keep that transplant functional. That’s something we’ll tackle when we get there. Three years is a long time. You’ll need to stop working, or drastically cut your income so you can qualify for assistance. Now. So we can expedite the paperwork, and even then, it’s going to take a while. It’s the only way, Logan. Otherwise, you’re looking at bills into the hundreds of thousands and most of that isn’t covered as an emergency, so if you can’t pay you won’t get it.’

When he asked how to pay for things like food and electricity if he stopped working,‘one thing at a time’ is all she could say.‘Your kidneys are the most pressing problem.’

He didn’t reply after that, only nodded while they hooked him up to a heart rate monitor in a private room.

Tessa hasn’t cried yet. She has to be strong for him. If they both fall apart, nothing useful will ever get done, and considering Logan’s already slipping into silent shock, there’s not much time for her to melt into a sobbing puddle. It all feels surreal anyway like someone might peek around a corner and admit it’s a terrible joke. There’s no chance that this world would take him from her after everything they’d been throughto get here. It doesn’t compute, not for a second, and yet here she is in the bathroom fighting a wobble in her lower lip.

She won’t cry yet. Not when they still have options.

Going behind Logan’s back is wrong, but he would do the same for her. He wouldn’t give up at her first refusal. He would keep trying until she accepted his help or testing proved he wasn’t a match. So, she sucks in a hard breath and beelines for the reception desk to ask for Audrey.

“I want you to test me,” she says quickly, her stare challenging Audrey to refuse.

“Okay.”

“Oh…okay? Really?”

Audrey nods. “Yes, it’s your choice and testing isn’t the same as donating.”

She came here bristled and ready for another fight. In the absence of that, she deflates and her carefully crafted wall begins to crumble. All those tears she sucked in threaten tofall out across her cheeks at the first hint of a minor success.

“Did you come to an agreement about this?”

Tessa sighs, following Audrey into another room where she offers her arm for a blood draw. “You know him. What do you think?”

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