Page 90 of Until You Found Me

“What did you see this morning? When you wouldn’t tell me,” he asks, unsure if he really wants to know.

“I don’t want to say yet.”

His reaction is partly selfish. He wants to be the one she confides in, to offer her solace when she needs it most and he can’t do that if she won’t talk to him. One thing he doesn’t do is ask if she knows what happened that day he found her in the woods. If she knew, she would tell him. He’s so damn worried about the fallout of that missing puzzle piece when it finally comes.

“Be patient with me, okay?” Her voice trembles. “I can’t feel all of myself. It’s like I might float away, so don’t…don’t let go?”

“I won’t.”

She goes quiet, nestling her cheek into the soft cotton of his shirt until her next words come softer than the ones before. “I miss her so much. I don’t even know where she’s buried yet. I can’t go see her.”

“We’ll find out.”

“Will you go with me when we do?”

He whispers his reply into the crown of her head. “Promise.”

“Carl would have said something by now, right? If he found a news story or a death record, we would know. It’s been hours.”

“Saw that crash on the highway coming down, probably got them all busy. That was some pile-up.”

“Right, you’re right. It’s just hard to wait.”

“I know.” He covers her hand where she fidgets with the blanket. “I know.”

There isn’t much to say after that. Her inhales and exhales are sweet background music. The warmth of her seeps straight down into his bones, and he lets himself drift into the first few hours of sleep he’s had since yesterday.

* **

Logan’s always weak after a treatment. His limbs feel like jelly and he’s so tired he can hardly keep his eyes open. Tessa drives them home and makes a joke about ending up in jail for not having a license.

“I’ll bail you out,” he drawls, head rolling against the seat.

“My hero.”

He naps all the way back to the house and then fights his body once they get inside, unwilling to waste a whole day, Christmas Day, sleeping it off.

“Lemme make us dinner.” He tries.

“You don’t like my cooking now?” Her lips purse in a tease that hardly reaches her eyes.

“Don’t want you waiting on me when you got enough to worry about.”

“It’s not a burden, Logan.” She takes the frying pan from him and settles it on the stove, then rubs gentle palms over his shoulders until he leans into her touch.” Let me take care of you today. Then you can take care of me tomorrow. We’ll keep switching however long we need to. Fair?”

He drops his head to nuzzle into her shoulder. “Fair.”

It’s hard to accept help after the awful night she had. He should be the one doing all the heavy lifting, not letting her guide him back into bed and make them dinner. This is his life now. Every few days he’s half dead after his blood is recirculated and he shudders to imagine what a whole lifetime of this would do to him…to them.

His mind wanders to the possibility of accepting her kidney if only to alleviate the constant responsibility of caring forhim. She claims it’s not a burden but even if that’s true, his brain refuses to accept it. Then, he realizes how ridiculous that option is when she’d only be trading one problem for another.

The dog takes Tessa’s spot on the bed and snuggles in close, letting out a disgruntled huff when she returns with two plates of grilled cheese and pleads for her space back.

A dramatic groan follows when Vegas exits the bed to flop onto the ground, so long-suffering, that she laughs. He twists his head at an odd angle on the floor as if to emphasize how uncomfortable he is now. “Tell me how you really feel.”

“Here, give him this and he’ll love you again.” Logan breaks off a piece of sandwich crust and sure enough, the dog is happy and wagging in an instant. “Snacks are the way to his heart.”

“So I see.” She pauses. “Do you need anything else? Pain meds?”

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