Page 13 of Say You'll Stay

“I just need you to know why I’m such a mess,” she adds, trying to ignore her revelation.

“You’re not a mess. I’m real glad he got what he deserved, though.”

“Me too.”

“Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll keep watch,” he offers, no doubt noticing the endless stream of yawns she’s let loose.

“You haven’t slept much either. I know the baby has kept you awake.”

“Don’t go worrying about me. Always been a dozer. A couple of hours here and there and I’m good.”

“Maybe I’ll nap for a little while,” she agrees. If she’s tired enough to drift off sitting up in an uncomfortable booth, then the nap wants her even if she doesn’t want the nap.

She stretches out lengthwise, tucks Lucy between herself and the back of the seat so she won’t roll off her lap, and tries her best to relax on squeaky fake leather. Every time she closes her eyes, she’s right back there in that subway bathroom watching her husband’s bloody teeth snap in her direction. The dribble of fluid down his chin when he starts consuming the umbilical cord wrinkles her nose in disgust.

Thankfully, sleep drags her into oblivion before she can let her memories wander even further.

* * *

Cole’s insistent calling of her name in a careful whisper has her alert through the groggy haze of a terrible nap.

“Something’s happening out there,” he says. “People aremoving through the stores.”

“They’re coming here?” Her sleep-addled brain thinks that’s a reasonable question when he has no more clue about a stranger’s plan than she does.

“Don’t know, but we’re not sticking around to find out. They’re in the front, so we go out the back and keep heading east.”

He doesn’t strike her as the type to run from every possible encounter. If she wasn’t weighing him down, he might stay and take his chances. There’s safety in numbers and finding others to link up with could be in his best interest, but he’s not risking it with her and a baby in tow. She feels a flash of guilt for holding him back.

A wave of lightheaded fuzz rushes to her head when she stands too quickly, but she fights it to follow his lead. She’s fine. She can do this. There is no choice.

Lucy’s ready for a meal, but they don’t have time and when it’s not offered, the baby starts to fuss. Not a full-out cry yet, only a few high-pitched squeaks. That’s all it takes for the voices to get closer as they move out the back door.

“Go, go, go!” Cole yells after Lucy offers a desperate scream, giving their location away to anyone listening.

She nearly stumbles, trying to keep pace with Cole. He grabs her hand, just like before, and pulls her along. It’s a repeat of how they left the apartment, only this time her swimming vision has her thinking she might not make it much longer. He won’t let her quit, but her legs are on the verge of giving out and she worries that she’ll drop Lucy. She yells out his name in a warning as they round a corner to a dead end.

She sags against him, trying to shove the baby into his arms before passing out, but he only helps her to the ground withher back to a dumpster and keeps Lucy in her lap.

How fucking useless she is at protecting her own child if she can’t even run away from danger?

Even if they slipped the people at the diner, there could be more held up in their apartments trying to ride out this storm. They’ll follow the baby’s screaming to see what the fuss is about…. if the rotters don’t get here first. She can’t climb the chain-link fence blocking the exit, but Cole can.

Her heart skips a few beats, her thoughts are jumbled and foggy, and her muscles weaken with every passing second. The growling shuffle of the dead in the distance tells her they won’t be alone for long.

“Cole, take her. Take her and go. I can’t…” She doesn’t understand why he won’t take the baby. Terror at the possibility that he might abandon them here as a distraction and be on his way alone flares up like it never left. “Don’t leave us! Don’t leave her! Please!”

She begs him now like she did that first day, convinced she’s made an awful mistake in letting her guard down even the smallest amount. Of course he’s leaving. She’s been kidding herself this whole time, thinking it would go any other way when she has nothing to offer him that he wants. There’s no benefit in keeping them around.

The edge of her vision starts to blacken. She can stuff the baby between her and the wall before she falls unconscious to protect Lucy from the dead. It won’t be enough, but…. the sound of other voices halts her panic.

Cole is talking to someone. She can barely keep her eyes open, seeing only blurry figures a few feet ahead. The baby squirms in her arms and she forces herself to stay awake. If she passes out and he leaves them, then they’ll both be dead.

‘Don’t you even look at my wife.’

That’s confusing. She’s no one’s wife anymore. Cole’s angry, loud, and ready to fight whoever he’s yelling at.

The conversation fades, but suddenly someone tries to grab her, and adrenaline rushes in. She kicks and struggles to break free, but her resistance isn’t enough, and her burst of energy quickly fades.

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