Page 28 of Say You'll Stay

“Mhmm.”

“I didn’t just mean work. I never left the house much. Never saw anything new. Met anyone new or did anything exciting,” she pauses, wincing at her own words. “That sounds wrong. I know this is dangerous. I know people have died. Never mind. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

Her explanation is falling flat, only making her sound frivolous.

“If it wasn’t for the army, I’d have never left the middle of nowhere town I grew up in. A visit to that farm would have been it for me,” he replies evenly. “Me and Wade would go hiking in the woods when we got older. Then hit up the bar sometimes. Him more than me when it comes to that. Wasn’t much else to do.”

“How did you end up in the city?”

“A friend of his lived out here. Wade’s an ass but he’s loyal. Usually. This guy saved his life one time, so when the virus hit and he didn’t pick up his phone, we came to check. He didn’t make it. He was already rotting when we found him. How ‘bout you? Did you live in the city?”

“No. We only came this far in because Jason wanted to try the safe zones. Thought they’d offer a better chance.”

Cole snorts. “The only guy to gointothe most populated areas to stay safe.”

“I never said he was that bright. Would have been smarter to stay in the suburbs, but right about now I’m not regretting anything about how it all happened. If we didn’t come out here, then me and Lucy would still be with him.” Cole goes silent, and she realizes she’s doing that thing again, focusing on the past instead of the future. “Sorry, I talk about him a lot. Too much. He doesn’t deserve to be remembered.”

“Can’t forget that fast. This one here is still brand new.” He gestures to Lucy, asleep in her arms. “The rest of it is, too. The only thing that’ll get rid of that kinda demon is time and even then, they stick around.”

“Spoken like someone who knows from personal experience?”

He nods but doesn’t elaborate. She’s gathered that he had a hard time growing up in foster care, but Cole keeps his secrets closer than she does. Then again, she’s the one who’s had all her wounds slashed open in the last week and he happened to be there to see it. Maybe it makes sense the pages in her book are far easier to read.

“Anyway, I know what you mean about being excited to see new shit, even in all this.”

She raises a brow, her tone light and teasing. “You’re excited, huh? I dunno, kinda hard to tell.”

“This is my excited face,” he deadpans. “And this is the usual‘ain’t got time for this shit’face.”

Watching one corner of his mouth quirk up to break the stoic facade, she can’t help but laugh at the identical and emotionless expressions. “I see the difference. You should tone it down.”

“Too much?”

“Way too much. Your excitement is overwhelming me.”

No one has ever possessed or tried to hone the skill of making her smile like he does, but he wields it effortlessly.

“I won’t let it be like that for her,” Olivia says, softly. “She’s going to see things. Not right away because I know it’s not safe, but one day, when we can teach her to protect herself, she can be a part of the world instead of sitting on the sidelines. She won’t be afraid like I was.”

We.That word slipped right out before she could catch it.

“You haven’t been afraid much since I met you.” Is all he says, as if she’s far braver and stronger than she actually is. They both know that’s not true.

“I hide it well. Usually.”

“Like my excited face?”

“Exactly.”

“Hey check that out.”

She follows his pointed finger to a small strip mall at the edge of a park before he pulls into the lot in front of a posh storefront boasting fancy baby items.

A lone rotter scratches at the glass. Strips of skin hang from her teeth and blood coats her mouth, all clear evidence that she bit someone before getting stuck in here. After finding the door unlocked, Cole carefully stabs his knife through a small gap and leads the way inside.

It’s like Disneyland for new parents. Rows upon rows of clothes and carriers, creams and blankets. She stands still, uncertain of where to start, with everything she needs at her fingertips.

“Whatcha waiting for? Let’s go shopping.” He nudges her with a gentle elbow.

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