Page 32 of Say You'll Stay

“Tell me more about this farm?” she asks. “What was it like?”

“Had apple trees you could pick from in the fall. Animals to pet. Sheep and some cows. Couple horses they’d hook up to a sled in the winter. Right in the Blue Ridge mountains, views for miles.”

“Sounds beautiful.”

“I used to wish I could live there. Used to think maybe one day I’d have something like that of my own, but that was never gonna happen.”

“It could now.”

“Only because the owners are probably dead and there’s no one around to keep us out. Didn’t earn it.”

“You’ve survived. That’s the price we pay for what we want, right? Someone pretty smart told me that once.”

“Maybe they were onto something.”

“I think so.”

“It’ll be nice for Lucy out there,” he continues. “Safe as anywhere can be now.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

She’s half worried someone else might have gotten there first. Or that the owners are ready and waiting with their shotguns, but no sense in dwelling on it tonight. It’s the best plan they have and they’ll find out soon enough if their destination will welcome them with open arms or shove them out the door.

Chapter 9

Olivia’s having a dream and it’s not a good one.

He heard her whimpering pitifully before, but never this loudly or for this long. He wouldn’t want to be stuck in a nightmare and hates the idea of leaving her trapped, but Cole fears spooking her by waking her up. So, he stays on his makeshift floor bed with the cat purring at his side, useless and silent.

He’s prone to lashing out with a reflexive right hook in that situation, but something tells him she isn’t that type. He still hesitates, questioning both his right and ability to free her from the clutches of an awful dream. Surprisingly, Lucy has slept soundly through it until Olivia’s cries grow more desperate, and then the baby squeaks awake. He has to do something, he just isn’t sure what yet. Gets off the floor and hovers at the edge of the bed as she twitches in her sleep. His fingers twitch in response against his thigh with the desire to reach out.

Cole dips the mattress with his weight and reaches a gentle hand into the bassinet to soothe Lucy instead. “It’s alright. Your momma’s having a dream, but it’s okay.”

At first, it works. She hears his voice and quiets down, but then Olivia lets out a piercing scream and Lucy does, too.Enough is enough. He can’t sit here while she suffers because he’s too afraid to overstep his bounds, but he waited too long and she wakes on her own before he can give her shoulder a nudge.

She scrambles away from him faster than she did in the subway bathroom, disoriented and overcome, almost falling off the bed in her haste to escape.

“It’s just me.” He still sounds like he smokes a pack a day even after trying to quit and doubts his voice does much to calm her. “Only a nightmare. Wasn’t real.”

They’re useless words, pointless and common, but she relaxes as quickly as Lucy did, her shoulders sagging and body unsticking from the headboard. She wipes wet eyes with the back of her hand, releasing a stressed exhale. For a moment, he wants to hug her. It’s a foolish idea that might get him banished to a separate bedroom from here on out, so he doesn’t try.

She has an odd habit of making him consider things that have never been an option before. He’d rather walk through a herd of the dead than hug anyone and yet…if they were close enough for something like that, he might force himself to push his own boundaries.

They are not.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” She sniffles, hiking the rumpled blanket up her body.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“I woke her, though.” Olivia scoops the baby into her arms, pressing a wet cheek to soft blonde hair and inhaling deep. “Have I done this before? Made noise in my sleep?”

“Not much.”

“I’ve been having nightmares, but don’t remember wakingup. I keep hoping they’ll stop. Every time I close my eyes, I see…”

“You see what?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It is what it is.”

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