Page 35 of Say You'll Stay

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It’s still dark outside, with only the barest sparkle of sunlight peaking over the horizon when they leave the house in search of greener, more secluded pastures.

The first few miles pass in silence. No trace of that easy teasing he was starting to like, and that’s his fault for behaving like a lion with a thorn in his paw. He can’t blame her for not wanting to risk him lashing out.

His back aches, leaving him unable to get comfortable. The sticky part of the bandage caught a split part of his wound, tugging every time he shifts and making him wish it were easier to accept help.

“Can we pull over? I need to pee,” she says.

He finds a spot and pulls the car onto the shoulder, getting an armful of Lucy while Olivia heads for a bush.

“Don’t go far,” he calls out. “I wanna see the top of your head or a hand or something.”

She sticks her hand out with a wave. “This is a weird yoga position.”

He huffs, glancing down at Lucy, who doesn’t seem to be an early riser. He thought babies stayed awake most of the night. She gets up more than a few times to eat, but given the chance, she’ll sleep in like she’s doing now. It’s one of the last peaceful sights left in a ruined world.

“Your momma’s silly,” he whispers, watching her face turn into his chest, seeking out the warmth. “I’m screwing up here again. Can’t seem to stop doing that.”

She offers no suggestions and when he looks up to check in on Olivia, she’s already slipping into the passenger side and leaning her head against the seat with a sigh. “I sometimes forget that there’s still plenty of other people left who aren’t as helpful as the care home was. He won’t be the last one we run into.”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you or her.”

“I know, but I need to be able to help. Sometimes I’ll have to hide with her, but if we’re in a situation where I can, then I want to. I was about five seconds from trying to do something back there and I don’t know if I actually could have. I don’t like feeling helpless.”

“You’ve got some serious skills with a frying pan already.”

She cracks a half grin. “There won’t always be a skillet nearby.”

“I can show you a few things. Where to hit if you have to? How to slip out of someone’s grip. Only if you’re feeling up for it.”

“I am.”

“We gotta get one thing straight, though. You don’t use anything I show you to help me. Not ever. Something happens and I’m hurt and there’s even the smallest fucking chance you’ll get hurt too, then you stay hiding. Run the other way. Leave me behind. You got it?”

She hesitates. “I can’t promise tha—”

“Then I won’t show you. You have to swear you’ll only use it to defend yourself, not me. It’s not your job to keep me safe. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”

“What if I want to protect Flower?” she deadpans.

He doesn’t take the bait. “I’m being serious right now.”

Reluctantly, Olivia nods, though he has his doubts about her follow-through. “Fine. I’ll take it.”

“Okay. Next time we settle in somewhere, I’ll show you how to use the gun too, but that’s only for emergencies. It’s too damn loud.”

She offers him a tentative smile, her gaze shifting to Lucy sleeping peacefully in his arms. “Go team.”

“See, told you your momma’s silly,” he says to the baby.

Olivia’s smile only gets brighter, her next offer careful even if he can tell how much she wants him to say yes. “I can drive for a while. Just point me in the right direction.”

He agrees without a fuss, switches places with her, and wraps that sling around himself for Lucy to sleep in. It’s not as safe as a car seat, but better than nothing. He’s free to fidget as much as he needs now, too, and doesn’t have to rest his back against the seat, so he leans on the door instead, grateful Olivia doesn’t comment.

He’s going to teach her how to fight and make sure she can protect that baby if something happens to him. Today served as a reminder of how possible that is.

Chapter 10

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