Page 38 of Say You'll Stay

“Never knew my real parents. They left me on the steps of a church when I was a few days old and that’s all the story I’ve ever gotten.” His gaze lands on a sleeping Lucy swaddled on the sofa. “I never understood it then and I still don’t now, but it is what it is. People leave, that’s how the world works. Even more so now.”

She wonders if this obvious sense of deep-rooted abandonment is part of the reason he refuses to abandon her and thebaby. There’s an odd feeling simmering in her chest, squeezing her heart. It begs her to offer him some security, no matter how ridiculous that might be.

“Not everyone leaves,” she replies gently, before her tone turns teasing, always wary of toeing the line. “I mean, you’re certainly never getting rid of me. Apocalypse tour guide and now free arts and craft classes? You know how to woo a girl.”

He snorts, ducking his head. “It was the arrow whittling that hooked you, huh?”

“Oh yeah, big time. You’re stuck with me now.”

They’re both smiling in this dimly lit room where specks of dust catch the sunlight and shimmer like orbs. It’s comfortable and easy until their eyes lock and looking away becomes a struggle. Tension crackles between them in a brand new way and the urge to glance down at his lips almost overwhelms her. He swallows hard and heat spreads between her legs in a forbidden reaction. It’s unfamiliar and shocking, and more than enough to startle her from whatever trance captured them both.

She coughs to clear her throat of a non-existent tickle and turns her attention back to the arrow. When she sneaks a look at him again, he’s already working on the next bolt in his pile, seemingly unbothered.

The tension was solely a figment of her imagination, and if she doesn’t stop creating these fantasies, she’ll only face heartbreak later.

* * *

Olivia makes a dozen arrows before they quit for the night and head for the master bedroom. The idea of him sleepingon the floor in his condition isn’t appealing and so she tries her best to offer what she knows he won’t take.

“We can share. There’s plenty of room. I’ll even put the baby between us like a barrier.” She jokes, trying to ease the mood, but it doesn’t work.

“Thanks, but I’ll be moving around a lot. I’ll keep you both awake trying to get comfortable. I’m good down here.” He grabs a blanket off a chair and takes the pillow she sadly hands over.

“You’re sure?”

“Mhmm.”

She doesn’t like this. He’s hurting and miserable, and when the top of his head disappears past the mattress, her face breaks when she knows he can’t see her, flushing with regret and frustration. Maybe everything she hoped they were building with all these tiny steps isn’t as strong as she thought if she can’t even keep him off the floor.

Reluctantly, she accepts defeat for now, laying Lucy on the bed on her stomach. She hasn’t spent much time out of the sling or the swaddle and it’s important that she gets to do normal baby things, like all that ‘tummy time’ stuff Olivia read about in books.

She didn’t expect what she sees next, though, and it has her scaring the crap out of Cole with her surprise. “Cole! Look!”

He’s on his feet at a moment’s notice, knife in hand, ready to fight whatever might challenge them. She’ll feel bad about startling him later. Right now, the smile on her face stalls his mission as she points to the baby.

“She’s picking her head up?” he whispers, as awestruck as she feels once his adrenaline tapers off.

Olivia nods, her excitement and pride blossoming. Her firstthought was to share this milestone with him.

“You know…” He settles back down on the floor, arms braced on the bedside and attention on Lucy. “I thought earlier that she was looking at me harder. You know what I mean? Focusing.”

“I saw that, too. She’s been watching us more. Tracking with her eyes.”

Her happiness over Lucy is something she’s kept to herself for nine months, expecting that to hold true for the foreseeable future, but there’s something so unexpectedly perfect about seeing her feelings reflected in Cole’s reaction.

“You’re the smartest one.” He taps Lucy’s hand with a light finger. “Today, picking your head up, tomorrow crawling around.”

Olivia lets out a gentle laugh. “I think that’s still a ways off.”

“Gonna be the best at it when it happens, though,” he says confidently, as if her daughter is the most skilled baby left on this planet.

Leftover hormones make her eyes water. Lucy is growing and changing, and that’s enough to have her emotions in overdrive. The fact that Cole seems as delighted as she is has absolutely nothing to do with it. Nope. It definitely doesn’t have her affection for him growing three sizes when she assumed it already reached reasonable levels.

* * *

A nightmare startles her awake while it’s still dark. Although she isn’t screaming this time, she is alone, and instead of Cole’s voice reassuring her, there’s only silence.

Scanning the room proves it empty aside from a sleepingLucy and a purring Flower stretched out across a window ledge. It’s safe enough to go look for him, so she moves quietly toward the hall. Her knife is ready, but the bathroom across from the bedroom offers a quick solution through the cracked door.

---