Page 51 of Say You'll Stay

“You’re okay,” she half whispers, offering him forgiveness he hardly deserves. “It was a nightmare. I know you didn’t mean it. I know you’d never hurt me.”

He is weak, so instead of pulling away, he draws her closer, curling into her and pressing his face against the space below her ear. “You’re good? Are you sure?”

“Shhh, I’m fine. You told me before that you’d come up swinging if I woke you. I forgot.”

“You’ll be scared of me now,” he muffles sadly into her skin.

She leans back enough to force his gaze to meet hers. “I know exactly what it feels like to live with a man who wants to hurt me. To be afraid of him. You could never be like that.”

It is one of his biggest fears that he could turn into someone like the foster father who left so many scars on his soul. He pointed a gun at her and somehow she still trusts him. That has to count for something, he reasons.

He’ll be sleeping with the bullets separate from the gun for the foreseeable future.

Chapter 14

Olivia isn’t sure how she managed to get back to sleep at all.

What happened had to be some sort of fever dream. The alternative is that she slept curled up with Cole’s arms around her, and she isn’t the sort of person who gets what she wants. His even breathing below her ear is real enough, though. His solid arm encircling her belly is unmistakable, and the earthy scent saturated in enough pheromones is impossible to overlook.

They’ve shifted during the night. After she fed the baby and returned to bed, she felt the warmth of his chest against her back and his knees tucked in behind hers, the pressure of his embrace pleasant rather than suffocating. They’re not sleeping on opposite ends of the mattress anymore but wrapped up togetherlike a coupleand that’s enough to blow her mind when she’s already having a hard time accepting this sudden turn of events.

She’s at war with herself, struggling with the knowledge that she wants him, and fighting it at the same time. In the beginning, when she tried to offer him a blow job in the bathroom, it had only been an attempt to secure safety for herself and her child. She felt nothing for him back then. He was only a stranger who showed her a tiny amount ofkindness, and that had been enough. She never expected that her feelings for him, or anyone, could grow.

After years in an abusive marriage, wanting any man again was off the table. But she wants Cole.

There are moments when it appears clear that he feels the same. It’s in the brush of his thumb across her cheek and the shimmer in his eyes when he returned home last night. In the way, he nestled his face into her hair as he held her. She thought he might kiss her outside the house after she ran into his arms, but she isn’t so sure anymore. He’s had ample chance since then and made no attempt.

Olivia isn’t brave enough to test the theory and risk losing everything they’ve built. Cole isn’t the type she knows how to manage. A hot meal and a good fuck won’t keep him placated and satisfied like it did her ex-husband, and without those tools at her disposal, she’s lost. It would be so simple to offend him and drive him away. He already made it clear he didn’t want her like that and she’d be stupid to try again.

Evidence to the contrary is hard against her ass at the moment, though. She was right about needing those magnums when she grabbed the condoms.

A shiver runs up her spine when she imagines being with him. Would he be gentle with her or would that wild streak she’s seen on occasion take over? What she’s learned about him so far tells her he probably doesn’t have much experience, but his innocence is endearing and she isn’t an expert, either. All she knows is how to fulfill her duty as a wife. To use sex as a calming activity for someone in a rage, or a reward for good behavior, a means to an end.

They could learn how to do this right together.

Fuck, there she goes again, daydreaming about this man.Not long ago, the thought of having sex again was repulsive to her. Now, she can’t stop thinking about it. She is exactly what Jason always told her she was.Fast. Easy. Only good for one thing.Won’t be long before Cole realizes that, too.

Her heart drops when he begins to wake. One of two things will happen. He’ll either hold her tighter or he’ll roll away and put some space between them. Literally and figuratively. Everything looks different after a good sleep. What felt right before might be a regret now.

As soon as he’s fully conscious, his muscles contract around her, and his cock jerks against the curve of her ass.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” He rolls away to stare at the ceiling. “Didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay. If I was bothered, I’d tell you.” She wills herself not to cry, and how stupid is that? He isn’t rejecting her. He’s being a decent human who won’t grope someone without permission. That’s all there is to it.

“I didn’t wake up screaming this time. At least that’s a win.”

She braces her elbow on the pillow to face him. “I didn’t either. Maybe we kept each other’s nightmares at bay for one night.”

A smirk lifts his lips and one hand tucks long strands of hair behind her ear. “Were you shadowboxing my demons for me?”

Her cheek warms his palm as she nuzzles into his touch. “Absolutely.”

His look of unmasked affection takes her by surprise, but it’s quickly covered again and her heart shivers in disappointment.

“Breakfast? Are you hungry? I can make us something,” he offers.

What does she expect might happen? That he’ll kiss her breathless in this bed, tug her pants off and fuck her sweetly until she’s a boneless mess on the mattress?

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