Page 6 of Say You'll Stay

“Okay. Good.”

He has no idea that he’s already done more for them than anyone has in a very long time. Her emotions are all over the place and she’d be tempted to cry them out in reliefat knowing she won’t be alone come morning if she wasn’t still so doubtful. He doesn’t seem like a liar, but trusting anyone fully is difficult.

Olivia props a sleepy and full Lucy over her shoulder for a burp, patting her tiny back while she gurgles.

“She’s real cute,” Cole says, in the first soft tone she’s heard all evening.

The pride that washes over her is brand new, but welcome. “She’s the only good thing to have come out of that marriage. He didn’t want her, but I do. It was all worth it because now she’s here.”

“Is that normal?”

She squints in confusion at the odd question until he gestures to the red stain she’s leaving on the bed sheets after shifting around.

Olivia’s learned to shut down her tears or risk being on the wrong end of a fist. She spent years waiting for Jason to leave for work so she could cry alone. But now, her face cracks and creases as a few salty tracks escape. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up. I’m sorry.”

She should have known this would happen. She read the books and googled until her fingers threatened carpal tunnel.

“I’m not trying to give you a hard time about it,” he replies. “Never known anyone that’s had a baby. Not sure if you’re about to pass out again.”

“Oh. I think it’s normal for a couple of days, maybe a week or two. I don’t feel like passing out.”

“Couple weeks? How can someone bleed for that long and not die?”

The innocent and perplexed way he asks has her huffing in sad amusement. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

She’d like to change the subject, but the reality of the situation won’t let her. She can’t go to the local Walmart and purchase the entire ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’shopping list. This is something that needs to be addressed unless she wants to ruin everything she comes into contact with for the foreseeable future.

“Do you need anything?” he asks, cautiously.

Every item in the baby section of the grocery store, she thinks. “I can write out a short list? If that’s okay.”

Cole seems relieved when she offers him a task. Rifles around in the kitchen drawers for a pen and paper and hands them over.

She scribbles off a few lines of what she’ll need to keep everything she touches from looking like a murder scene, along with essentials for the baby. Diapers. Hand towels. Wipes. Tiny clothes if he can find any. Every single feminine product he can get his hands on that’s not a tampon. The last thing she ever wants to do again is shove anything up there.

Olivia’s prepared for a scowl or curse. Her husband would tell her she better control the messor else, as if she has any control over it whatsoever. Cole only scans the list with a cursory nod and heads for the door.

“Wait! You’re leaving now?”

He pauses, confused. “You need the stuff or not?”

“Yes.”

“Then let me go get it? The stores are all raided by now, only four apartments in this building, but we weren’t looking for any of this when we went through them. Might be some left around here. Won’t be long. Hang tight.”

He escapes like the room is on fire.

It’s not until he’s gone and the silence of the room begins toengulf her in her own thoughts that everything crashes down at once. The baby she carried for months is now out in the world. Wrapping her head around that is mind-blowing, even when the evidence is blinking up at her.

The weight of the last few hours, days…weeks, all shoves at her until she’s clutching Lucy and trying to suppress persistent sobs.

She can’t lose it now. If she starts crying, she’ll never stop.

“Hey, baby,” her words catch as she nuzzles against soft new skin. “I’ve been waiting so long to meet you.”

Lucy hiccups on a wet burp.

“It’s gonna be okay. I promise it will. I’ll take care of you. We’ll be fine.”

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