Page 64 of Say You'll Stay

It was easy enough to fall asleep from exhaustion. When she stripped off her pants and climbed in wearing only a T-shirt and pair of underwear, he’d been surprised, but that faded when she kept her distance, as she often does when they aren’t overcome with stress.

All this closeness is something he’d have run from before, butthings change.

She looks like she wants to snuggle in against him, but nine times out of ten she stays on her side of whatever bed they share. They are overly careful about getting too close unless it’s an emergency or a nightmare, and he wishes they could curl up together without hesitation. He wants to feel her skin on his. Hold her close and bury his face into the back of her neck in that spooning thing that couples do.

They are not a couple. But they could be. For the first time in his life, he wants to be someone’s other half instead of running from the concept. She brings out a needy, tactile side of him he didn’t know existed, but every time she failsto initiate he backs off, too, leaving what feels like a canyon between them.

Would it be acceptable to move closer if she’s not awake to tell him to back off? Should he give her a gentle poke with his finger first, or wait until she opens her eyes on her own? He’s not planning to try anything beyond wrapping his arms around her. At the slightest hint of her unhappiness, he’s prepared to fly off the bed immediately.

He swallows hard, taking a deep breath before resting a nervous hand on her shoulder, his voice soft. “Hey? Morning.”

No response.

He takes a risky journey down to her elbow and back, checking for any reaction.

Not a sound.

Even touching her this much without permission feels wrong, so he lets his hand drop away and pulls it back into his space. He won’t be like those fuckers in the cottage, or like the man she left in that subway, assuming he can do whatever he likes.

She makes a pleased hum at the back of her throat, and he spies the edge of her lips curling up in a careful smile. She’s been awake this whole time.

“I wanted to see what you would do.” She bites her lower lip.

He props himself up on his elbow to peer down at her, curious that she hasn’t rolled over yet. “What did you want me to do?”

“I wanted you to stop, just to know that you would….even though I already know that. And then when you did, I changed my mind.”

He swallows hard. She was testing him, and he can’t blameher for that. “What do you want me to do now?”

“Hold me for a while?”

Tentatively, he slides an arm around her waist, careful to stay in the safety zone of her stomach, ready to combust at any moment from sheer nervous energy. He presses his chest to her back, but keeps his hips as far away as possible without throwing his spine out of alignment.

“This okay?” he asks.

“Closer.”

She wiggles as if wanting to shove her ass back against his crotch, so he takes the hint in bold print and nudges his hips forward until their bodies meld together.

“You feel good.” She exhales hard, hugging his arm beneath her breasts. “I only feel safe like this when I’m with you.”

He takes that as his cue to settle in, willing his heart to quit thumping against her back and his dick to stay down. She doesn’t move an inch, perfectly happy to let him hold her, and he wonders how he lived his whole life without this.Without her.He’s already become addicted, and she’s the pusher supplying his fix.

His willpower to keep himself at half-mast only lasts so long before he hardens. “Sorry. It’ll go away.”

“It’s okay. You’re good right here.”

Fuck.

Dammit.

Holy shit.

He won’t survive this and now he remembers one very important reason why he’d been hesitant to hold her before. He’s already five seconds from coming in his pants with barely any contact at all.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to be thisclose,” she says gently. “But I’m good if you are.”

She’s telling him that she’s content to lie with his cock hardening in the curve of her ass. That she feels safe with him wrapped around her and doesn’t want him to move. He’s pretty damn sure their whole relationship shifted on its axis in the space of a few seconds because people who are only friends don’t do this.

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