Page 74 of Say You'll Stay

She turns briefly to show him the baby inside one of their backpacks. “We have to get out of here. Can you walk?”

He nods, wanting nothing more than to hold them both in his arms, but knowing this isn’t the time. “You’re bleeding.”

“It’s not mine.” Is all she says.

“Is he dead?”

She nods, her eyes haunted.

He allows her to help him to his feet and they rush toward the back fence, stopping briefly when he notices the vet’s office across the road. It’s reckless to take this detour, but the whole community is preoccupied with panicked efforts to either fleethe growing flames or try to put them out before they spread to other buildings. No one cares about them anymore.

Rows of cages inside hold what he assumes were once family pets, now slated for research. A golden retriever with a fast wagging tail, several cats meowing for help, and a pint-sized Yorkie. One by one, they flip the latches and set them free. Taking them all is out of the question, but at least they might have a chance now. Their owners may not have had any idea what they were being used for and now they can find each other again. He finds Flower in the last crate and scoops her up and onto his shoulder before they emerge into the open again, their family of four back together.

There’s an old blue sedan unattended in an alley and he leads them toward it. He can hotwire it if needed but the keys are already in the ignition. No sense in protecting it when the exit is always blocked, he supposes.

Cole revs the engine, aiming for the main gate, and drives straight through the opening the rest of the crowd had forced their way through.

They keep driving until the fire is only a speck in their review mirror.

* * *

They find an abandoned house a dozen miles out, hidden away on a back road. The minute they’re safely inside, Olivia’s already in his arms before he can reach for her, tucking herself under his chin where he holds her tight.

“Are you both okay?” he whispers.

“We are. He told me what they were doing to you. Your foot is bleeding.”

“M’fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“Idoworry about you,” she admits, pulling back so he can see the anxiety all over her stricken face, right next to Lucy’s red and puffy one.

She must. She ran further into captivity, trying to find him instead of out an open gate to freedom while that fire was raging.

“I know. I’m alright, I promise. I’ll clean it up and it’ll heal. Can I hold her a while?” He gestures to the baby, and she offers him a very disgruntled Lucy who looks about the same as she did when he first saw her in that subway bathroom, dismayed and angry at being born into a world like this, and for good reason.

“How about you?” He holds the baby close with one arm while Olivia presses into his side. Lucy’s hitching little breaths puff into his collarbone. She’s not crying anymore, already used up all her tears. “What did they do to you?”

Pulling off the bandage covering her arm to clean it properly, he finds two perfectly shaped tooth indentations rather than a needle mark.

In the span of a second, his whole world shrinks and narrows, only encompassing how much he loves this baby and how neither of them will survive it if she’s gone.

Chapter 20

They haven’t moved from this spot in a darkened room, on a dusty old bed for hours.

Following Lucy’s every breath, Olivia’s hand lays splayed across the rise and fall of her belly. She has to feel the inhales and exhales for herself to know they’re real.

Cole’s been silent and stoic, cocooning the baby from the other side as if that’ll somehow stop the inevitable. He hasn’t cried, but Olivia has. She sobbed until dry heaving was the only option and snot stuffed up her nose. She couldn’t produce another tear even if she was paid, yet her effort remains strong.

She’s mourning a loss that hasn’t happened yet and nothing can soothe her. It’s hard to watch someone cry and not try to stop it. To lay quietly beside them and just be here, but he’s got that skill down to a science. The occasional brush of his hand over her knuckles is a tether that keeps her grounded and his acceptance of her tears is the best reaction he could offer.

When he thinks she’s not watching, Cole’s eyes well up as he gazes at the baby, who, despite not being his own, has quickly become his daughter in such a short time. They haven’t said it out loud to each other, but it’s a truth impossible to deny. He’s keeping it together for her while a piece of her dies along withher child and once it’s over, she fears there won’t be anything left.

“I can’t do it.” The eerie silence is broken with a request as awful as it is necessary. “When it happens I can’t…please help me? Please, Cole? It should be someone who loves her, but I can’t.”

Fuck. Turns out she can cry again and all it took was asking him to put down Lucy when the time comes because she’s too weak to do it herself. Takes him a moment to understand and then he’s stricken like she smacked him across the face. She’s never felt so guilty, but if he says no, she’ll curl up and never move again, and then whatever happens after won’t matter anymore.

“I love her,” he replies finally, placing a hand over hers where it rests atop that kitten onesie. “I’ll handle it.”

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