Page 82 of Say You'll Stay

Suddenly, she’s not so eager anymore. Bites her lip as he covers her again, oblivious to her anxiety.

“It’s ah…been a while.” He avoids her eyes, offering an unprompted apology. “Long time.”

She’d been so wrapped up in her own inner struggle that she missed him having one, too. “I don’t have any expectations. I just wanna be with you.”

His reply is a hint of pressure, trying to gain that first inch.

It’s fine. It’s fine. I can do this.She tells herself, while the tension coils fast in her chest.

Every time he moves forward, her hips twist to pull away without any logical input required from her brain. That’s when he stops, asking her what’s wrong in the sweetest voice that has her own self-loathing and frustration prickling hot behind her eyes.

Emotionally, she’s more than ready. Physically, she’s afraid the trauma she went through in that subway bathroom could make this a miserable experience when all she wants is to feel something good.

“I want this. I want you. Just go slow, okay? Please.”

Before she can process what’s happened, he’s moving down her body, kissing warm and soft from her collarbone to her inner thigh before throwing one leg over his shoulder and sweeping his tongue across her in a firm lick that has all rational thought vanishing.

This isn’t what she meant. Not what she expected at all, but he’s observant enough to know she couldn’t let him in yet.His enthusiasm is what keeps her anxiety at bay. The rumble of approval vibrating across her skin leaves her no time for self-consciousness or worry.

It should be illegal for anything to feel this good. Her legs fall open wide, nerves singing as he swirls his tongue where she’s swollen and throbbing. There is a ravenous edge to the gentle way he strokes her with his tongue that leaves no room for doubt that he’s enjoying every second.

She glances down, watching him move between her legs, seeing the soft indents his thumbs make in the flesh of her thighs. A finger or two first would help open her for the rest of him, but he doesn’t try and she doesn’t ask. She explicitly asked that he not touch her like that the last time they were naked together and he assumes that holds true now.

He does, however, slick the tip of his tongue up into her, massaging that first ring of muscle at her entrance. It’s a move so unexpected that she grips the bedsheet until it twists in her grip. Then, he moves up, and a few well-placed strokes where she’s swollen has her arching off the bed before it even occurs to her that she’s already coming. A strangled yelp of surprise escapes while her body rolls and contracts, riding a blissful wave until she can’t do anything but collapse back onto the mattress, limbs like jelly and chest heaving.

When he fits himself between her legs again, she’s so supple and mind-blown that she couldn’t stress about anything if she tried. Runs her fingers through his hair and bends one knee to give him more room, feeling the blunt tip begin to tease at her.

“Lube?” he asks. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

She’s glad he remembered because she couldn’t form a coherent thought if she tried. She only nods, watching himsit back on his calves and grab the little bottle she sat on the nightstand. She has never in her life seen anything hotter than this man coating his cock in copious amounts of lube in preparation.

She’s so damn wet that the first inch slips in easily, but the burn still sears like a brand, ripping a hiss from between her teeth. “I’m good. Slow. Slow.”

Little by little he tries to join them together, but she is tense and her muscles contract rather than open. She braces herself to handle it anyway, knowing that eventually, the pain will subside, but the pressure between her legs is gone a moment later and he watches her with a worried frown.

“It’s too soon after the baby, isn’t it? We’ve got plenty of time. There’s no rush. Doesn’t have to be tonight,” he tells her.

Although part of her reflexive resistance is fear of physical pain, the other part is simply an attempt to avoid losing control. She trusts Cole more than she’s ever trusted anyone, but she is conditioned to expect someone totake, and muscle memory wins over logic.

“I don’t wanna stop yet. Can I…” She reaches down, wrapping a hand around his shaft.‘Can I put it in myself?’isn’t something she can voice aloud, but he seems to understand, offering her a nod and letting her guide him.

It might make more sense for her to get on top, then she could easily control the depth and speed, but she wants to feel him on her, pressing her down into the mattress, his body warming hers. She just needs to get past this first step.

She nestles the swollen tip where she’s wet, rubbing him there a moment to make use of the moisture before encouraging him in. The burn is instant again, and she winces, stopping him with a hand on his hip. He leans down, teasingher lips with a kiss but never thrusting on his own, letting her gradually open until she takes him in her hand again at the base, bends her knee, and gives a nod of permission to enter another inch.

They join together little by little in an instinctive dance of back and forth, a fingertip to his hip to ask him to wait, a lift of her pelvis to encourage him in, until finally, finally his hipbones find hers and the length of him rests within her. It’s uncomfortable, pushing at her from all angles, but a sense of accomplishment overcomes her and she smiles up at him, her eyes watering and palms cupping his face until he leans down to kiss her.

When they move together, it’s only a swaying, rocking push. He’s reluctant to leave her at all, the entire shaft buried deep, massaging her walls instead of thrusting. It gives her a chance to relax and uncoil around him until the pain fades and she’s certain she’ll combust from the pressure alone.

All at once, she needs him to move. Needs to feel the slide of him within her and she rakes her nails down his spine, digging the heel of her foot into the back of his thigh in encouragement.

The first firm, long thrust rips a grunt from his throat that he sears into her neck and has her gasping when he hits a spot that’s got her toes curling already. He moves slow and steady, making sure she feels every inch before withdrawing slightly until only the tip holds her open, and then thrusting back in until there’s nowhere left to go.

So this is what she’s been missing. All those times she used to wonder how anyone could want this, crave it, desire it, when the idea of pleasure instead of pain felt like a fantasy.

Another release begins to build in her lower belly andsuddenly nothing matters except capturing it. She needs him to touch her and all her reservations about that particular act dissolve as she throbs and trembles, desperate for an orgasm beyond her reach. “I need. Cole…please, I need…”

“Tell me. Show me.”

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