Page 102 of Tenderfoot

“I—”

“There were weeks, sometimes months, I didn’t take a fuckin’ shower.”

“Javi—”

“Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, freaked because I was sleeping too soundly, and I was pissed at myself because, you go that deep, you take the chance of not waking up in the morning.”

“Because it’s cold in the winter?” I queried.

“No. Because someone else off their head doesn’t mind sticking you full of holes so he can have your blanket.”

God.

Javi.

“That stuff you said to me, the other night, was it about your sisters?” I guessed.

He jerked up his chin. “Yeah. Some of it. Most of it was me trying to make sure you kept well clear of me. That didn’t fuckin’ work. The minute I saw I hurt you, I couldn’t stand it.”

God.

Javi.

I totally couldn’t hack this, not all the way across the island.

“Please let me come to you,” I whispered.

“I’m not that boy anymore,” he said.

“I know you aren’t, honey,” I replied.

“But he’s always in me.”

“Okay.”

His gaze grew intent on me, so much so, I felt like I’d suddenly been engulfed in an inferno.

“I want you so fucking much,” he growled.

I went solid.

“Not because you’re that pretty rich girl who wouldn’t ever look at me because I’ve got about two years of schooling and not much else,” he declared. “Because when you walk, your ponytail flips side to side.”

“Wh-what?” I stammered, taken back by what he said, which not even in my wildest imaginings was something I ever thought he’d say.

“You’re just like”—he threw his hand up in front of him to indicate me—“walking sunshine. My life was dark, Harlow, in a way you will never get. And you’re sunshine.”

Dang, dang, dang.

The tears hit and there was no hope for it.

I started crying.

A muscle in his jaw worked watching me do it, even as he said, “I struggled, being so fuckin’ into you. I can’t bring dark into your life.”

I huffed out a humorless laugh and, still crying, said, “Obviously, I didn’t have it as bad as you. Nowhere near. But it wasn’t always strawberries and cream at the O’Neill residence.” He opened his mouth, but I said, “What I’m telling you, Javi, is that I’m not scared of the dark.”

“So why’d you put me off?”

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