Page 26 of Tenderfoot

Fortunately, at this point, he moved out of my space and toward the door, saying to Shanti as he used it, “This convo at SC better be about you women backing off whatever this shit is.”

“Wouldn’t count on that, hoss,” she replied.

Javi gave her a look, which, if it was anyone but Shanti, who was sweet as sugar but didn’t take any stuff, might melt the flesh off their bones, then he slammed the door behind him.

“He’s a slammer,” I said.

Shanti turned to me.

“You know, I always had a feeling there was something bigger with Kev,” I remarked. “With the whole Trev thing last night, and then his sad demise, I’m thinking this proves it.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes. Don’t you think so?” I asked back.

“No, sis, really?” she semi-repeated. “I’m here before the crack of dawn, Javi opens the door, you wander down the hall looking like every woman who wakes up in a movie looks when they wake up, which is how nobody looks when they wake up. You two have verbal angry sex, which by the way, was hot as hell, and you do that more than once. He leaves, and you aren’t sharing what’s going down with you two?”

“Nothing is,” I replied, though her “verbal angry sex” note gave me another shiver.

She inspected me for several long seconds before she stated, “I think you’re telling yourself that, in other words, lying to yourself.”

Maybe so, but the lying-to-myself zone was a safe zone for me to be in.

And since I didn’t feel safe at all, not since Javi laid his truth on me last night and it made me feel weirdly like I was the odd woman out. Like I didn’t belong. This, a feeling I hadn’t had in a long time—unless I was with my family, where I’d lived with it my whole life—and it wasn’t much fun having it back. Therefore, the lying-to-myself zone was where I was going to stay.

“Is Willow okay with this Trev thing?” I asked to change the subject.

Another several long seconds elapsed before Shanti did what Shanti was always so cool about doing.

Giving you space when you needed it.

“She thought he was an ass.”

Well, there you go.

“But she’s tweaked,” Shanti continued.

I didn’t doubt it.

“I can come to work early,” I told her.

“Great,” she replied, turning to go.

“And by the way, you look like women look in the movies when you get up too,” I said, following her to the door.

She gave me a smile. “You’re boss, babe.”

“You’re more boss.”

“I can’t deny that.”

We laughed. I closed the door on her after I promised to see her at work. I put superhuman effort into tamping down any thought of Javi last night, this morning, or at all.

I made coffee. I made myself a smoothie. I did some Pilates moves in my living room.

And when I hit the shower, I changed gears to psych myself up for whatever was going to happen.

Therefore, I queued up Florence in order to “Shake It Out.”

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