Page 43 of Tenderfoot

“What’s your favorite fast food?” he asked.

“Culver’s,” I answered readily, then thought about it. “Also Cane’s. And Cava, though they don’t have a drive-thru. We’d have to go in. And if we go in, there’s also Thai Chili 2go. They have some really yummy, spicy chicken bites and their pad thai is super delish. I mean, for a fast-food Thai place. If you’re a Thai food aficionado, it might not suffice. Or we could share some of Café Rio’s sweet pulled pork barbacoa nachos. I’m a sucker for their sweet pulled pork barbacoa. And all of those are kind of on our way home, well, give or take a few blocks.”

“Are all of them on the table?”

“Sorry?”

“You got a taste for all of those right now?”

“Definitely.”

He hit his turn signal to get in the right lane.

“You get anything from Jinx?” he asked.

“No, except she’s not hip on going undercover on this mission.”

“No comment on that too,” he muttered.

I looked at him again. “Why no comment?”

He glanced at me before looking back at the road. “Because if I commented, I’d do it to say she’s got a brain in her head and a sharp sense of self-preservation, and you women goin’ after this shares you do not.”

I turned forward. “I’ll stick with your no comment.”

Another mutter with, “Good call.” Then, “The porn guy give you anything?”

Something hit me, so I said, “Oh my God.”

“What?” Javi asked sharply.

“I don’t know Mr. Stupidhead’s name.”

The sharp was out when he queried, “Come again?”

I turned to him. “We’ve never asked Mr. Stupidhead his name. Sure, he’s always rude to us and he stares at my breasts every time he looks at me.”

The sweet, cozy feeling in the cab dissipated immediately.

Therefore, I rushed on, “But I gave him birthday cake cupcakes tonight, and he nearly burst into tears. I don’t think he has anyone who’s ever nice to him. And it’s not nice to have an acquaintance with someone and not even know their name.”

“A man that stares at your tits doesn’t deserve you asking his name.”

“We ask him for information all the time,” I countered. “Obviously, its gross that he does that, but, I mean, you give as good as you get, and maybe we haven’t been all that nice to him either.”

“There are some people in this world who don’t deserve you bein’ nice to them, baby,” he said gently.

“I know. And I would put Mr. Stupidhead in that category before he almost started crying when I gave him cupcakes. But now I’m not so sure.”

“You say you bribe him with porn.”

“Yes, and now also cupcakes.”

“So this clown is getting before he gives. That means, you don’t owe him dick. And if you speak to a woman, you look her in the eyes, even if you don’t like her. No exceptions.”

He was right.

“You’re right,” I allowed.

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