Page 152 of The Robin on the Oak Throne

“That was…disorienting,” Kierse said, feeling her back coming up. She didn’t want to ever do that again. “It happened so fast.”

“But slowly enough for me to see that there are two blocks,” the doctor said.

“What? Two?”

“One is a magical block. I could see it when you hit it like a physical force. But there’s a second one around what happened to your parents.”

Kierse shook her head. “I don’t know what happened to them.”

Carrión frowned with a sad expression in her eyes. “You’re going to have to face what happened to your parents,” she said. “You’ve looked away from the truth for so long that facing it will be difficult.”

Kierse stood again as tears pricked her eyes. “I don’twantto look at what happened to my parents. Do you even know what you’re asking of me? I just want to remember that they loved me. That they left me. Isn’t that enough?”

“You have much darkness in your past. I can understand that facing it alone would be difficult. Therapy is a great resource to support you through it, and I’d be happy to continue these sessions with you.”

“I don’t know,” Kierse said. She already felt ready to flee.

“Talking to a professional will help. A way for you tountangle all those events that you would never want your children to experience. But, either way, know that this was all donetoyou. You were just a child who deserved better from a hard world.”

Kierse could hardly breathe at those words. This had been donetoher. What a simple thing to say and something that was so hard to look at. She’d been so independent, on her own two feet for so long, it was hard to even consider that she was this way for a particular reason. That she might have turned out differently in a softer life.

She thanked the psychiatrist and went in search of Graves, uncertain if she would ever return to this place. He must have seen it on her face as he rose to his considerable height.

“Did she help?”

“She said that I had a second mental block that I need to untangle before I’d have a hope of unblocking the magical component.”

“A block around what?”

“What happened to my parents.”

“Ah,” he said slowly. He drew her to him and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head against his chest, feeling the heat of him against her. She took a fortifying breath. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Kierse nodded, uncertain if she’d ever be ready to face that, knowing it was the only way to get what she needed from her memories. A paradox that kept her up late into the night.

Chapter Forty-Five

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Gen asked as they hopped off the subway in Brooklyn, dressed to the nines for Nate and Maura’s engagement party.

Kierse had spent the time since her meeting with Dr. Carrión working on her memory fortifications. She wasn’t ready to face what happened with her parents. But she couldn’t sit around and do nothing, either. So she’d gone out and pickpocketed a few unsuspecting people to boost her reserves. But it didn’t help her mental capacity. She’d hit the wall, and the wall had hit back.

Thankfully, by tonight, Kierse was feeling herself again. Well enough for a quick stop before the festivities.

“Define good idea,” Kierse said.

“Won’t Lorcan know that you’re here?”

“Yes, but we’ve got that covered,” Kierse said. “Just stick to the plan.”

“I don’t like the plan,” Gen admitted.

Kierse huffed, tugging down the hem of her black mini dress. “It wasyourplan.”

“I know. This is why we let you plan things. You’re good at that part.”

“It’s fine. The whole thing is going to be fine.” Kierse winked at her. “Let Operation Jail Break commence.”

Gen laughed and followed her down the Brooklynstreets. Kierse clocked a few patrols on rooftops—not that the Druids needed them to give the boss a heads-up she was in their territory. The second she’d crossed the bridge into Brooklyn, she could feel Lorcan.

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