Page 107 of Facing the Line

“How you feeling about the upcoming season?”

“Uh.” This is a little random, but I go with it. “Good, I guess. Yeah. It’ll be fine.”

There’s that word again. Can’t keep it out of my vocabulary.

“Evan mentioned you’ve been training pretty hard,” Hunter says, playing with a coaster on the bar.

I side-eye my roommate, who ignores me and watches rugby like it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. To be fair, it might be.

I shift my focus back to Hunter. “No harder than you would have. Besides, the team deserves it.”

He tosses the coaster and catches it. “What about what you deserve?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m wondering why you’ve suddenly upped your workouts and such.” Hunter’s blue eyes, so similar to Hadley’s, bore into me.

I resist the urge to fidget. “Because I want us to be the best. Isn’t that what you would do?”

“Probably.” He takes a swallow of his beer. “But the rationale for it matters.”

I bristle at his bland tone. There’s an insult in here somewhere, but I’m not sure where. “What are you getting at?”

“I work hard to be the best. For a long time, hockey was life. And I’m not sure it was healthy for me.”

“Look.” I set my pint of Coke on the bar harder than I mean to. It sloshes over the rim. “I don’t need a lecture right now, man.”

“I’m not trying to give you one.” Hunter claps me on the shoulder. “But you need to do what’s best for you, not necessarily what’s best for the team.”

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I want to argue, but I’m not sure what to say.

Evan nudges me and takes the opening. “Besides, you pushing yourself too hard is not good for anyone. Not sleeping? Not eating? You’re too smart for that.”

“Yeah, that’s the part I can’t figure out.” Hunter tips back his glass and takes a swig. “Why is hockey suddenly the most important thing? You’ve always had your head on straight about it. What changed?”

I sit straighter on my bar stool. “If you’re gonna imply this is about your sister, I don’t want to hear it.”

But Hunter shakes his head. “I’m not getting in the middle of her love life again. No, I think this is all about the ice.”

“It’s all tangled up together, dude.” Evan leans closer, and I shove his face away from me. “Without Hadley, he made hockey his entire focus.”

“Can you not talk about me like I’m not here?” I sound petulant, but I don’t care. That’s how I feel.

“We’d love to talk to you, if you’re ready to be honest.” Hunter pins me in his stare. “We’re trying to be there for you, exactly what you’d do for a teammate in need. Let us have a turn.”

I sigh and rest my forehead on the bar. I take pride in how I care for the guys on the team, and they’re right. Their persistent concern breaks down my walls, and I let my defenses crumble.

“Okay, you win.” My voice is weary as I raise my head. “Let’s talk.”

I ignore the triumphant look Hunter and Evan share.

Hunter clears his throat. “Why have you been working out so much lately? Pushing it so hard you pass out? What’s changed?”

“It’s like I said. The team deserves it.”

“But why, man?” Evan asks. Curiosity, not judgment, shines in his eyes.

I exhale. “I let everyone down last year. I’m not doing that again.”

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