Page 28 of Facing the Line

“What’s up?” His face is open, his gaze unsuspecting. I thought I’d feel lousy about what’s coming, but his comments have pissed me off enough that I’m relieved.

“We should see other people,” I blurt out before I lose my nerve. “I don’t think we’re compatible. I’m sorry.”

“What?” He blinks, clearly surprised. “But I thought things were great. I was looking forward to having a girlfriend at Christmas. I mean, I know Bex has been a little much lately, but don’t let her make you insecure. I like you a lot, and?—”

I hold up my hand to cut him off. “It’s not Bex. This is about us. And I don’t see a future for us.”

That was the wrong thing to say, because his cheeks flush and his eyes snap. “A future? I thought we were casual. Since when did you want a future?”

He’s right; I don’t. But also, I don’t want to be with someone who annoys me every time he opens his mouth. The urge to bang my head on the table is strong, but I resist. Why can guys not take a breakup gracefully? If I acted like this, I’d be labeled “too emotional” or “a drama queen.”

“Devon.” I stand and shoulder my purse. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. We’re not destined to be friends, but I promise not to make it awkward if I see you. How’s that?”

I hold out my hand for him to shake, eyebrows raised.

He mutters but finally takes it. His eyes reflect his hurt, but he’s probably more upset I’m the one who initiated this than sad it’s over. “Here’s to not awkward.”

I guess that’s the best I can hope for. I leave him staring at the table and make my way through the Union. My boots click on the slate tile and former university presidents stare at me from their oil paintings on the walls. This probably isn’t the first break-up they’ve witnessed.

Should I be upset? Maybe it’s wrong, but I’m not. Relief that it’s over floods my veins. I liked him at first, but my heart wasn’t at risk. If I’m being honest, that was part of his appeal. That’s what I wanted, right? To try out all kinds of guys this year. So really, this is good. My mistake was letting things go on too long.

Pushing through the double doors, I take a deep breath. The cold December air fills my lungs, and I shiver, pulling my coattighter around me. It smells like it might snow. The thought buoys me.

I will allow myself one night of binge-watchingLove Islandwith Kendall to recover from this. Maybe an afternoon of listening toMidnightson repeat. Then it’s back to my normal routine. I have finals to study for, a semester to finish. A brother to check on.

Why do I want to immediately race over to Hockey Hall? Obviously to visit Hunter, but if I happen to mention to Jonas I’m single… No. I cut off that train of thought before I can spiral down a path I shouldn’t take. I’m not dating Devon anymore, but that doesn’t mean Jonas is the answer.

Instead of giving in to what I want and visiting their apartment, I direct my feet back to my dorm. That’s the wise course of action. And I’m a mature college freshman who makes smart choices.

Yeah, right.

Chapter

Twelve

January 2023

JONAS

Evan: New Years’ celebration tonight at O’Bryan’s?

Cooper: Why not The Cactus?

Evan: Because it’s gross.

Hunter: I’m in.

Cooper: Fine, me too. You guys wouldn’t know quality bars if they bit you in the ass.

Evan: If The Cactus bit me, I’d need a tetanus shot. Jonas, you coming?

Jonas: Yep, I’ll be there.

“Happy New Year!” Evan yells, then drops his shot of whiskey into his beer and chugs. Despite the weird glances from the rest of the patrons in O’Bryan’s, Cooper, Hunter, and I follow suit, slamming our glasses onto our tall circle table. Natalie and Jasmine shake their heads.

We weren’t together for New Years, so Evan suggested we ring it in tonight, a few days late. Our Christmas break got cut short because of hockey practice and games, so we’re back on campus before most students. While we need to stay diligent during the season, it’s hard not to go out and party when classes haven’t started yet. Natalie lives in Lafayette with her family, so it was easy to convince her to come, and Jasmine has a house in town she shares with some friends. She brought them and their significant others, plus the dorms stay open during the break, so the bar is decently packed for a Wednesday night. There’s no live band, but loud music pumps through the speakers and the stage area in the corner is filled with people dancing.

“Hey, guys, what did I miss?” Hadley elbows her way into our group, rolling her eyes and ducking when Hunter tries to mess up her hair.

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