Page 38 of Facing the Line

“That’s like blaming me for the pass I screwed up.”

“Or blaming me for not blocking that goal,” Adam adds, now in our huddle. Cooper skates over, too.

“We did our very best.” Cooper holds out his hand to help me up. “And that has to be enough.”

But how can it? If I had trained harder. If I had loved it more. If I had been more passionate. More sure of myself.

I keep my negative thoughts to myself as we glide off the ice. No matter what they say, I know I could have done more. I cost us the game.

Chapter

Seventeen

May 2023

JONAS

Mom: Good luck with finals!

Jonas: Thanks. I appreciate it.

I let my backpack slide off my shoulder and plop on my bedroom floor with a thud. Lucky it didn’t land on my toe. With a sigh, I throw on athletic shorts and a gray Harrison Hockey t-shirt.

The season is over, and I could take a month or two off from intense conditioning, like most of the other guys. But I don’t know what to do with myself. My thoughts are so loud about the loss, the only thing that quiets them is the zen moments I have during long runs.

So while I already worked out this morning, it’s the best way to spend my time right now. If I exercise until I’m utterly exhausted, I’ll fall into bed tonight and sleep without reliving the Championship game over and over in my head.

I tie my shoes, grab my ear buds, and slip my phone in my pocket. I open the front door to our apartment and stop in my tracks.

Hadley stands on the threshold, poised to knock and juggling a bunch of plastic bags. Her eyes widen. “Oh, hey.”

“Hi.”

I haven’t been avoiding her. Or rather, I haven’t been avoidingherspecifically. I’ve kinda been avoiding everyone. I need to buckle down, finish this semester, and come back next year and make sure no one remembers this loss. Or remembers my part in it.

She shifts, and one of the bags she’s holding slips from her grasp. She muffles a curse, and I help her scoop everything off the floor. I’m not sure what she’s doing but I glimpse… popsicle sticks? A hot glue gun?

“Hadley, are you… crafting?”

“No.” She huffs. “Well, yes. Can you help me get this inside?”

I shrug and follow her into our apartment.

“Brother dearest!” Her voice carries through the space. “I’m here!

Spreading out like she lives here, Hadley dumps her armful of plastic bags onto the floor of our living room. Her black crop top rides up, showing off a sliver of tanned skin at her back, and I swallow. I stand behind her, unsure and still holding the stuff I scooped up.

Hunter emerges from his bedroom, wincing as he scans his phone screen. “Hadley, I’m so sorry to do this to you, but?—”

“Seriously?” She cuts him off. “Are you ditching me?”

“I am. Because Natalie texted and she needs help with her dad.”

“Oh.” Hadley’s face softens. “Of course.”

Natalie’s dad recently had a kidney transplant, which is great news for him and her family. So far, he is recovering well, and his body is not rejecting the new organ. She and Hunter are in a good place and it’s awesome to see them leaning on each other and growing together through tough times.

“Is there anything we can do?” I ask. While I was young the first time my sister was in the hospital, I remember the toll it can take, even if the surgery is a move in the right direction. “We could have pizza delivered or something.”

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