Page 89 of Facing the Line

“He’s a keeper, honey.”

My cheeks heat, and Jonas clears his throat. “If you’re okay, Marissa, I’ll go check on your medication.”

He hurries out of the room, and I turn to my mom. “Yeah, he’s great, but he’s just a friend.”

Despite the drugs, she raises an eyebrow. “Where did he sleep last night?”

“Well…” Being a gentleman, Jonas of course offered to sleep on the couch or the floor. I let him do neither.

“That’s what I thought.” My mom gives me a smug smile. “He’s great. Just?—”

“Be careful, be safe, I know. I’ve been on the pill forever, Mom. We’re good.” I’ve heard this lecture a million times. “I’m not gonna do something dumb like get knocked up and throw away my future.”

Her face shutters closed, and she blinks.

Ouch. That was thoughtless of me. “I didn’t mean… I know you want me to have options. Maybe options you didn’t have. I’ll be okay.”

“I was on the pill, Hadley, and we always used condoms. Sometimes life has different plans. And I wouldn’t trade you for anything.”

“Gross, Mom, I don’t want to know all that.” But I smile to let her know the sweet sentiment hits. Her words are nice—unfortunately her actions don’t back them up. Maybe she won’t remember she told me this.

“Anyway.” She yawns, and I stand to go. “Jonas is great. I’m so glad you brought him home.”

Her eyes droop closed, and I tiptoe out of her room. Jonas is awesome, no doubt about that. He’s going to make some girl incredibly happy someday. He’s probably ready to get married and start a family right after graduation. I’m pretty sure that’s what all his sisters did.

The thing that really triggers my rage, though? After spending time with him and his family, I was ready to be that girl. I was ready to give up my dreams, my semester abroad. Hedidn’t ask me to, but the temptation was there, and I was willing to throw it away all the same. Disgust rises like bile in my throat.

How could I have been so dumb? It’s not my mom I’m mad at, although she reminded me of everything I need to avoid. Nope, it’s me I’m upset with. Because I forgot what’s really important.

No matter how great he is, I can’t give up myself and my future for Jonas.

Chapter

Thirty-Nine

JONAS

Mom: How is Hadley’s mom doing?

Jonas: Getting ornery.

Mom: That’s a good sign! It was really sweet of you to go with Hadley to help out.

Jonas: Thanks.

Mom: Does it mean there’s something more than friends between you?

“Hadley!” Her mom’s yell penetrates the quiet of the apartment, and my girl sighs, cutting her eyes at me across the couch.

“Hey, let me,” I say, jumping up before she can. “This is no different from my clinicals.”

But Hadley shakes her head and stands, too. “I’ll come with you. In case she’s not dressed.”

She calls back that we’re coming, and I follow her down the hallway. We’ve been here for two days now; I should be used to the ostentatious decor. But it’s not a place where real people can live and make mistakes or get messy. The walls are papered with a gilt fleur-de-lis pattern, and everything’s ornate and expensive. The furniture is a weird combination of modern but antique, and nothing besides Hadley’s bed is comfortable.

Hadley’s different here. Tense and brittle, and I’m not sure why. She’s not terribly close with her mom, but Marissa seems okay to me. Although it’s one thing to interact with a patient and another experience entirely when it’s a parent.

I miss Hadley’s joy, though, and the lighthearted smile that used to be so quick to spread from her lips to her whole face. I’m glad I came to lessen her load, I just wish I could do more.

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