Page 121 of The Soulbond and Her Beloved

“No. No…” She shook her head. “I—I don’t understand. Why is he—how is this happening?!”

“Usually, the episodes break after a day,” Lord Vladya said.

Her eyes watered. “He has been like this for three days?”

Lord Ottai nodded solemnly.

“But… But he… he satisfies his instincts.” She blinked furiously.

“Bloodlust, not sexlust,” Lord Vladya answered evenly. “Daemonikai does not sleep with Sinai, or any other female.”

“No, you don't understand,” Emeriel insisted, frantic. “We had an arrangement. We agreed he would be…” She swallowed hard. “He wouldbe… with her.”

“You didn't wish for him to risk an episode or worse, lose himself to madness, so you agreed he should satisfy both needs with his bloodhost. Is that correct?” Lord Vladya said.

Emeriel nodded, shoving away her shame and despair. “So you see, he's not supposed to be here. I don't understand.” She stepped back again, the walls were closing in. “None of this makes sense. Even some nights ago, he…”

“He did not do it,” Vladya said flatly, holding her eyes. “He tried, but he could not bring himself to it, Emeriel. Your male hasnotlain with a female in months.”

Once again, she could not breathe. For a split second, she thought she was having another attack. But then it released in a shuddering breath.

What did it say about her that instead of feeling horror for what he had endured, hiding such suffering from her for over four months… the first thing she felt wasrelief?

What kind of terrible person was she thathope, happiness, relief—was dancing in her chest?

Her tears came harder, falling without end as she slumped against the wall. “I’m a horrible mate. This is all my fault.”

“Hey.” Lord Ottai moved in front of her, all of his usual levity gone. He looked every bit the Grand Lord he was. “Look at me. Never—do you hear me? Never blame this on yourself.”

“You don't understand,” she choked. “Something is wrong with me. I'm broken, somewhere inside like a ragged doll. Since that night… I have wanted him. Iwanthim so much… and yet I cannot—” She could barely bring herself to say it. It hurt more than she thought it would. “I… I can’t bear it when he tries. It's like I shatter, every time.”

Lord Ottai took her by the shoulders. “Vladya and I were there that night, remember? We lived through every moment of what happened, and sometimes, I still hear your screams. ” His thumb brushed a tear from her cheek. “IfI, who have lived through so many horrors in my long life, cannot forget… how could you?”

Emeriel lowered her gaze, sniffling quietly.

“You arenotbroken. There isnothingwrong with you.” He waited until her eyes found his again before he went on. “You’re one of the strongest beings I have ever met. Stronger than many of our females combined. You have done what others have crumbled attempting to do, walked paths others died to walk.” His hands squeezed her shoulders. “You, Emeriel Galilea Evenstone, have made impossibilities possible. How could you look upon yourself and seeanythingless?”

Her lips trembled. She hated how much she needed to hear those words, hated that she clung to them… yet she couldn't help herself. “You really do not think… something is wrong with me?”

“I do not. And neither does Vladya.”

They glanced at the Grand Lord, who stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He gave a single, decisive nod.

Lord Ottai turned back to her. “And Daemonikai?” He gave a faint huff. “Everyone sees the way he looks at you like you are the most precious thing Ukrae ever carved. That male sees you as the brightest star in a sky full of them.”

Something inside her unwound.

“He does refer to me as a star,” she admitted, her cheeks coloring faintly.

The fourth ruler chuckled. “I’m sure he does.”

A smile tugged at her lips, and she swiped at the lingering tears. She felt… lighter.

Then her gaze slid to the iron door. She couldn't look through that small hole. Just hearing Daemonikai’s pain was enough of a splinter to her heart; seeing it might shatter her completely.

“What do we do for him? It breaks my heart, seeing him suffer like this.”

Lord Vladya spoke. “When do you plan to come out? Have you not eavesdropped enough?”

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