Page 70 of Double Apex

I relax my grip and walk Phaedra backward to the wall. “That you planned to leave me a letter… I don’t know if you understand how much worse it is.” I search her face, which is half in shadow.

Tears spill unblinking from her eyes. “I do understand,” she whispers.

“Thenwhy?” My voice is as cracked as my heart.

“I was scared.”

“Of me?”

She looks down. “Ofme. I was afraid if I saw you, I couldn’t follow through.”

“Don’t you love me? Only days ago—”

“Please don’t ask me that.” She shuts her eyes tight.

I give her a small shake, and her eyes fly open.

“Pe dracu! I’m asking, dammit. Ce naiba zici!” I let go of her and cover my face.

“Don’t curse at me in Romanian!”

I gather her against my chest. “My apologies. I’m frustrated.” Leading her to the stiff Victorian-style sofa, I pull her onto my lap. She tries to struggle away, then settles against me.

“I should go. I’ll leave you the key.”

But even as she says it, she softens in my arms, fitting her head into the crook of my shoulder. We sit like that for a few minutes, our silence measured by the ticking of an antique wall clock.

“Youdolove me, Phaedra Morgan.” My fingertips stroke the soft hair at the back of her neck.

“You’re a smug, self-congratulatory egomaniac.”

“And you’re the brilliant, beautiful, ill-tempered minx who’s in love with me.”

She scoots off my lap and walks to the window, staring at the moonlit garden.

“Cos, I don’t want you to be resentful and have it impact team dynamics, but everyone feels I need to step away and take an inactive role. At least until you and I can—”

“Not ‘everyone,’” I assert, getting to my feet. “Idon’t agree. And you can’t either. If anything, our communication at work has beenbetter, owing to our relationship.”

She says nothing.

“Or do you agree with them?” I ask.

“Yes.”

“No.”

She puts both hands over her face and then slides them off. “Cos, they’reright. This thing won’t ultimately be good for anyone other than us. It’ll implode. We caught it early, when it’s still manageable to—”

She makes a gesture like cutting something out and discarding it, and it occurs to me that perhaps she’s excising us because it was impossible to do the same with Mo’s cancer.

I try another approach.

“If you could be satisfied with an inactive role, we’re free to have a relationship. Or maybe…” I hesitate to say it, knowing how she feels, but offer the thought anyway. “Maybe itwouldn’t be so bad if Klausdidbuy Emerald. Then the problem is solved.”

She shoots a murderous look my way. “For you, or for me?”

I lift my hands in concession. “I misspoke.”

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