Page 97 of Double Apex

My dad did.

And it might not have occurred to him that I don’t. If he had anything personal to say, he wouldn’t have sent it through Emerald’s server, because our IT has access to everything there.

I send a “reset password” to my work account, and my hands are shaking when I finally get it sorted out and log in.I scroll through nearly three months’ worth of spam, holding my breath as I make my way back to August’s emails.

edwardjmorgan

Hey there, chickadee

Aug 23

“Oh God!” I clamp a trembling hand over my mouth.

The last letter from my father, sent five days before he died.

I open the email.

Reckon I’m a coward for not talking this out in person, but you know I’m better with action than words. It’s part of why you and I are two peas in a pod. We’re both allergic to mushy talk and have always understood each other without jawing about it.

I’ve meant to tell you a dozen times since you got home about my feelings on you and Cosmin. But it seemed you’d quit him firm, so I didn’t want to reopen any wounds. Still I have to say my piece, in case you’re on the fence and hiding your feelings like you tend to do.

That nonfraternization rule may or may not exist for a solid reason—I feel I can’t rightly judge there. But I was disappointed in how Klausy and Reece butted into your business. Seemed to me you two kids were handling things fine and making good results on track. I told Klaus I wasn’t gonna put my oar in because if word got aroundabout me dictating his handling of the matter, there’d be talk of favoritism, and I know how you feel about that.

You thought you were hiding your relationship from everyone, but I’ve actually known for months, ever since Kim in IT brought something to my attention: Cosmin’s been writing you love letters for ages on his Emerald email and saving them unsent in drafts. Kim was concerned and forwarded the first batch to me in late April.

Early on you said that boy was a damned arrogant fool, though a good driver. But I’ve always had a hunch he runs deeper, and I wasn’t wrong. Everything in those letters says he’s in love with you. He’s intelligent, observant, and has a generous heart.

Klaus may think you shouldn’t be tangled up with Cosmin because it’s bad for the team. But love makes people stronger, not weaker. It makes them fight harder for what they want. I’ve given this a hell of a lotta thought. If you have feelings for him, don’t give up. You have my blessing.

It’s been a real privilege being your daddy. I’m proud of you and I love you.

P.S. The next email is for Klausy, and I don’t want to send it through the Emerald server but don’t have any other address for him. Please print it out and give it to him on paper. (It’s fine by me if you read it.)

By the time I get to the end of the letter, my tears could rival the rain in São Paulo. I am a sobbing, snurfling, handful-of-napkins-wringing mess.

I back out of the email and click on the next one.

Hey there Klausy,

I’ve been ruminating on it, and I think you’re wrong about the risks in Phaedra and Cosmin being sweet on each other.

You know Phae is a damned fine race engineer—that girl is a wizard, and she takes her job serious. Her closeness with Ardelean is an asset, not a vulnerability. Hell, I about shit myself too when I saw that crash, so you all need to stop giving Phae grief over her reaction. Sure, the whole world poked fun at her for a few days. But you know what? They were focused on Emerald. Why? Because PEOPLE make a story interesting.

If the cars were twice as fast and the tracks twice as thrilling, but the race was driverless, would there still be seventy million people tuning in? You know the answer as well as I do.

The cars, the strategy, the tech… those are great. But fans love racing because of the human story: victory and defeat, heartbreak and heroism. Phae and Cos being in love makes Emerald’s story more exciting. It raises the stakes, and fans are more invested.

It’s also the decent thing to do, letting them be happy. I know how much you miss your Sofia—that was a hell of a love match. Let my girl have hers too.

And please take care of her for me. I trust you.

You’ve been a great friend, Klausy. I’ll see you when you cross the bar too someday.

The first thing I do is cry with my head in my arms on the kitchen counter for a good fifteen minutes, until I’m empty.

The second thing: I watch the end of the race.

Third, I book a plane ticket to Abu Dhabi for the last grand prix of the year.

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