Page 94 of Coming in Hot

His sorrowful half-smile cut into my resentment when he said,Yes, that’s exactly what I thought. Which is why I chose Minnie. Onegoodparent is better than a bad one. And in a lifetime of painful choices, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

That conversation helped—I’ve reflected on it a lot. I’m still a little uneasy around him. It’s slow going but progressing. He’s actually really warm and funny and a big reader, so there’s every reason to like him. I guess I just have more work to do in the “relationships with men” department.

Klaus has been collateral damage.

Where do I go with this revelation about my subconscious fears? And how do I feel about the epic career sacrifice Klaus is making? Can I trust it?

When I first sat down here tonight, I opened my phone and read through the article I published in August, trying to detach myself from it and see it as a reader. And dammit, Ian was right: All the signs of Klaus’s discontentment with his job were there. How did I miss it?

Since meeting him, I’ve been so focused on the things that impactedme—like his grief over Sofia—that I missed a lot.

We both got plenty of things wrong.

I’m so confused…

I reach for a bowl of pistachios on the bar and crack one, spinning an empty shell half beside my glass, lost in thought. Then, exactly as it happened two years ago, charcoal gray moves into my periphery, and I smell Neroli Portofino. I close my eyes for a moment, steeling myself for the conversation.

“This is the last place I expected to find you,” Klaus says with amusement. “Under the circumstances.”

I flick a fingertip at the tall glass in front of me, which is still nearly full of the magenta sludge I’m having trouble getting down. “This time I got the beet juice on purpose. I thought it’d be healthy, but… yeah, it’s super gross.” I glance at Klaus, admiring, as I did that first night, his charming one-side dimple. “You’re free to order a Courvoisier though.”

“It’s not the same if we can’t share it. I don’t plan to haveanydrinks until the day you do again, should you choose to.”

“Ah. Out of pity?”

“Solidarity.”

“Enjoy the flavor of solidarity.” I slide my glass toward him.

He takes a sip, and his brow crumples. “That is admittedly vile.”

“Right?”

We sit silently for a minute. They’re playing French pop music over the lounge’s speakers again, and around us there’s conversation in several languages: I recognize Italian, Arabic, Russian.

“I’d like to talk about my announcement today,” Klaus finally says.

“I’m still processing.”

“I assumed as much. I’m not trying to compel you into a decision about our future. I’d like to tell you more about my choice to retire, and what my long-term intentions are.”

I wave a vague hand his way. “Have at it.”

“Talia.” He brushes back the curtain of hair I’m hiding behind as I look down at my steepled hands. His simple touch on my ear sets my heart racing. “Please look at me.”

With a sharp sigh, I twist on the barstool. “A ‘grand gesture’ like that is… You claim you’re not railroading me into a decision, but how else am I supposed to see this? You’re walking away from a five-million-a-year job.”

“Not to sound insufferable, but you know I don’t need the money. My stake in Emerald and my wealth from SindeZmos amount to more than I’ll ever need, frankly. Half my income goes to charitable giving each year.”

I wish I had a good comeback, but the last part ensured I’d look like a jerk for snarking about his wealth. Everyone knows Klaus is generous.

He puts a hand on one side of my knees, very lightly. “I willnevercoerce you. I wouldn’t dare try to tell you what’s best, because”—helifts both hands with a boyish look of vulnerability—“I have no clue what that might be. But I’m following my heart.” He gently braces my knees between his own. “I’m in love with you, Talia. I have been since before I was sure Icouldlove again. And I’ll do whatever it takes, for as long as you need, to become worthy of your love in return. If in the end you don’t share my feelings, I will accept that. But irrespective of the nature of our relationship, I’ll be a good father to our daughter. Nothing else on earth is more important.”

Dammit, now I wish we’d had this conversation in my room and not the lounge, because my vision is shimmering with tears, and I don’t want to cry in public. Partially it’s happiness, because… what person doesn’t long for a swoony declaration? But it’s also fear. I’m a wobbling Jenga tower before the last piece is pulled, threatening a rain of messy, noisy chaos.

“I want to believe in this—believe inus—so much,” I confess. “But just wanting it doesn’t make it magically work, even if I’m in love with you—”

The inadvertent admission stops me, and my face heats unbearably. Klaus lifts my hands and kisses them. I’m expecting him to latch on to the confession, but he surprises me by letting the words just exist between us.

---