Page 28 of Steal My Breath Away

“C’mon, dude.” He laughed. “The way you two look at each other… I don’t need to be a chemistry major to know there’s something there. Life is short, my friend. Don’t give up that opportunity.”

“You’ve got it wrong,” I protested. “We knew each other a long time ago. I was good friends with her brother. That’s it.”

“She has a brother?” Chad sat up, frowning. “She never mentioned him.”

I couldn’t believe Haley had never mentioned Matt. Although they’d had their differences over the years, Matt and Haley had a good relationship and there was nothing he wouldn’t have done for her. “He was three years older. We joined the air force together, in the buddy program.” I hesitated, reluctant to share. But it had been a day for crossing lines. Why not cross one more? “He didn’t make it back,” I added.

I was there. I watched his plane go down. I see it every night. Over and over and over again.

“I’m sorry, bro. I lost my older brother in the military, too.”

Too.I didn’t know if the word was purposeful or inadvertent, but he captured what had hurt me the most. Matt had been like a brother to me. His family had been my family. And yet I’d repaid him by encouraging him to do something that had cost him his life.

“Every time I read about a coast guard rescue, I think of him,” Chad said after I offered my condolences. “He was trying to decide between the army and the coast guard—he loved the water—and I told him to choose the army because I had dreams of being a war correspondent and I wanted to interview him in the war zone. It sounds crazy now, but I was young and so, so naive. Even now, I can barely think about it without feeling sick. It never leaves you.”

Fuck.He got it. The few people I shared my truth with had been quick to assure me that it wasn’t my fault. They were right that I hadn’t been flying the plane, nor had I even worked on the engine. But Matt wouldn’t have joined the air force if not for me. He would never have been on that plane.

“Matt wanted to be a dentist.” The words came spilling out before I could stop them. “He was a smart guy. I told him the air force would pay for his training if he completed his four-year commitment, so he joined up with me. If I’d kept my mouth shut, he’d be filling teeth and handing out toothbrushes right now.”

Chad nodded in understanding and for a long moment we were united in grief and loss and a guilt that would never go away.

“We should go rescue Theo,” Chad said finally. “Last time we were here he dropped a weight on his foot and broke his toe. He’s not really a gym guy, but I drag him out for the company and because it can’t be healthy sitting in the dark most of the day staring at four screens. He’s super smart and at the top of his computer science program, so for a challenge he spends his time hacking or gaming. We’ve got a bunch of guys coming over toplay a littleGrand Theft Autotonight. You should join us, or do you have to be out of the house on your break?”

“I don’t think that would be a problem. I’m just supposed to be off duty. But I used to play that game all the time with Matt. I’ll kick your asses.”

“Mine maybe.” Chad laughed. “But not Theo. It’s like he can see right into the internet. Sometimes I think he’s part of the code.”

Something niggled at the back of my mind. “Could he trace the messages that were sent to the station or hack into CCTV cameras? Or is that kind of stuff just on TV?”

“I’m pretty sure he can hack into anything,” Chad said. “Companies pay him to break into their systems, so they know how to fix them. But that kind of thing is legal. I don’t know if he would do any black hat hacking. We can ask. What are you looking for?”

“I think the guy who tried to grab Haley on Michigan Avenue is the same one who sent the messages to the station. The local police have dropped the case, and the Capitol Police won’t take jurisdiction. Her mom has been trying to get the FBI involved, but who knows how long that will take? I wanted to look into it because it seems to be escalating, but I was told I have to focus on protection.”

“Something doesn’t sound right to me.” Chad racked his weights and wiped his face with a towel. “A senator’s daughter? You’d think the police would be all over that. The press, too.”

“Her mom is up for reelection soon so her team is trying to keep it out of the press because it would look bad for her campaign.”

“Now I’m intrigued,” Chad said. “Do you mind if I do some digging, too? I still haven’t declared my year-end project, and this has all the juicy political stuff my investigative journalism professor loves.”

I could imagine Tony’s face if he found out he’d pulled me off duty so I’d focus on protection and instead I found two guys to do the investigation instead. “I’d be grateful for any help.”

I heard a thud, and then a shout of pain. Chad looked over at the free weights and shook his head. “There goes another toe. Let’s get Theo back to his computer. If his mother finds out I let him get hurt at the gym again, she’s going to kill me. I’m not supposed to bring him anywhere he might try to be physical. I took him to a Bears game one time, and he got a shiner. He was trying to measure the velocity of the ball with an app he’d made and got in the way of a dude who was trying to catch a fly. Are you a Bears fan?”

“Hell, yeah. I never miss a game, although I’ve never seen them play live.” My parents weren’t interested in sports and I didn’t know much about any teams until I met Haley’s family. I was a Bears fan because of them, because of the way they made me feel when they kept a seat for me every time a game was on, like I was part of the family.

“I get comps to a lot of games through the station,” Chad said. “It would be great to have someone to go with who actually understands the game and isn’t so busy staring at his phone that he misses a fly. I’m not taking no for an answer. The next time my tickets and your schedule line up, we’re going, and if you’ve got any friends who are Bears fans we can bring them, too.” He pumped his fist in the air. “Bear Down, Chicago Bears!”

Chad reminded me so much of Matt it was almost painful. My first week of school in Riverstone, Matt had decided we were going to be friends and he wouldn’t let up. No matter how hard I resisted, he was right there in my face, inviting me to play soccer, partner with him at the gym, be his bench buddy in science, and finally, one day, he convinced me to come to his house after school. I walked into music and laughter and chaos, and never wanted to leave.

Haley and her dad singing and dancing around the kitchen using wooden spoons as microphones was a kind of joy I’d never experienced before. They were totally in sync, utterly uninhibited, almost the same person except that Haley had the kind of voice that you can feel deep inside—rich, powerful, almost too big for such a little girl. She was ten years old and I was thirteen,too young to fall in love, but I felt something watching her, a tug in my heart that had never gone away.

“I’ll let you know.”

“Too bad there’s nothing this weekend,” he said. “But a littleGrand Theft Autowill take your mind off anything.”

It felt good to laugh. “It will when I kick your ass.”

“My money’s on Theo,” Chad said. “But we’ll see what you’ve got.”

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