Page 55 of Steal My Breath Away

Maybe that’s what I needed. I could go out on a date with Benand show Paige and Ace, and even myself, that what Ace and I had was casual. I wasn’t emotionally involved and therefore not at risk of getting hurt. The only problem was my total lack of attraction to Ben, and my overwhelming attraction to the scowling man behind me.

Ben stammered through a conversation about the weather as he walked with me to the library. I was hyperaware of Ace behind us, his disapproval almost palpable as he gave us space to talk.

“Tin Griffin is giving a concert at the Salt Shed.” Ben ducked his head to walk through the library door. “I’m going with a couple of friends. I was wondering if you wanted to come. They’re not as good as your band, but you’ve played their songs on your show before and I figured you must like them.”

I could feel the weight of Ace’s gaze on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look back. What if Paige was wrong? What if he’d changed and he felt something real for me? Not the casual intimacy of a hookup, or the need to look out for his best friend’s little sister, or even the warmth of a friendship, but something more, deeper, the kind of feelings I didn’t want but still seemed to have for him despite his behavior at the station. But then again, what if she was right?

“I… um…” I looked over my shoulder at Ace. His face smoothed to an expressionless mask, and I couldn’t even guess what he was thinking. I willed him to say something, to put his arm around my shoulder and tell Ben he was my fake boyfriend, but he didn’t move.

“Are you guys together?” Ben asked, following my gaze.

I thought about the concern on Ace’s face when he lifted me off the bedroom floor, the gentle way he’d brushed my hair off my cheek, the care with which he’d held me until I’d come fully awake. I thought about the way he’d kissed me at the bar in Riverstone, holding my face like I was the most precious thing in the world. I thought about the way he’d hoisted me over his shoulder and carried me to the library, and his anger when he thoughtI’d put myself in danger. It wasn’t nothing. There was something between us, and it had been there since the day we met. “Ace is my boyfriend.”

Ben’s face fell but he rallied quickly and shook hands with Ace before he “just noticed the time” and “had to run.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Ace said after he’d gone. “If you wanted to go out with him—”

“Seriously?” I turned on him, needing an outlet for the maelstrom of unsettling feelings that were becoming difficult to contain. “You would have been okay if I hooked up with Ben right next door to where you sleep?”

His corded throat tightened when he swallowed. “Your mom hired me to be your bodyguard. I’m not here to interfere with your life.”

I pulled him away from the main door and over to a small winter garden full of evergreens. “So, you’re here out of a sense of duty?” My hands found my hips. “And nothing else?”

“It can’t be anything else,” he snapped. “I’m supposed to be your protector. I’m supposed to keep you safe, but I can’t seem to be objective anymore. I can’t rely on my instincts the way I usually do. Everybody seems like a threat. You were right back at the station when you said we’d made a mistake. We should have kept this professional. I made promises to your family. I can’t let them down.”

Puzzled, I frowned. “Them? You mean my mom.”

A pained expression crossed his face. “And your dad. I was with him in the kitchen one afternoon waiting for Matt to get back from baseball practice. You and Matt were fighting all the time, and it was hard to be around you guys without picking sides. It was only a few weeks before your dad’s heart attack. I don’t know if he somehow knew it was coming, or if he was just worried you guys would never work out your issues. He asked me to look out for you, to keep his baby girl safe if Matt wasn’t around.”

Baby girl.

My stomach clenched, so fast and sharp I doubled over. Those words were my everything. Love. Safety. Warmth. Home. I had videos on my phone of Dad calling me his baby girl, but in the years since he’d died, I hadn’t been able to watch them.

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” Ace put his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t touch me.” I dropped my hands to my knees and forced my lungs to move.Breathe. Breathe. You’re fine. Lock it away. Ever since Ace had come into my life, it had become harder and harder to push all the uncomfortable feelings back into my mental black box. It had taken all night to process my fight with Paige, and then the dude in the station, the encounter with Ben, Ace having regrets, and now this…baby girl. A want—no, a need—so deep and fierce and desperate welled up inside me it took my breath away. I wanted to feel that love again. Just for a moment. I wanted him back. I wanted to be my daddy’s baby girl.

Gritting my teeth, I stood, blinking away the wetness in my eyes. Ace was a watery shadow, his blurry face creased with concern.

“I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Yes, you should have told me. You should have told me a long time ago.” I hesitated, letting anger wash away the pain. “And Matt? Did he ask that of you, too?”

“No, but he was my best friend, and you were his little sister. I would have protected you for that reason alone, even if your dad hadn’t asked.”

Bitterness coated my tongue. “So that’s all this really is. A promise to my dad. A duty to my family. Some bro code with my brother. Paige was right, and I almost destroyed my friendship with her because I couldn’t see what was staring me in the face.”

“What did Paige say?” he asked.

“She said you were taking advantage of the situation and my feelings like you did before. She said I mean nothing to you and as soon as your job is done, you’ll go back to your celebrityclients, and I’ll never hear from you again. She said I’d get hurt.” I checked my phone and realized I was about to be late for my shift. “I need to go.”

Ace moved past me to pull open the library door. “I care about you, Haley. More than anyone else in my life. But you deserve more than I could ever give. You deserve someone better.”

I’d never imagined hearing those words on Ace’s lips. Never considered that he might think of himself as less than worthy in any respect. He’d pulled himself up from nothing to become one of the top graduates of his high school class and a decorated air force veteran. My family had adored him. He’d been well respected in town, and everyone he’d worked for had spoken highly of him. He’d been my friend and my anchor in the storm of chaos that had followed my dad’s death. He’d been my everything. “What if I don’t want better? What if you’re enough? What if you’re all I ever wanted?”

I didn’t wait for him to answer. I couldn’t handle any more. It was too messy, too complicated, too confusing. I was caught in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, and I couldn’t see my way through. So, I did what I always did. I shoved it all in the black box, went to work, and hoped it would all go away.

CHAPTER 26Haley

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