Page 75 of Steal My Breath Away

Resigned, I nodded. “Of course.”

“You go see one of our psychologists. And for as many sessions as they think you need to deal with your issues. You can’t keep blaming yourself for things you didn’t do or had no control over. It gives you the illusion of control but really it just allows you to avoid your pain and difficult emotions. I get that you have astrong sense of responsibility and even stronger sense of protectiveness, but you need to find a different coping mechanism.”

Puzzled, I frowned. Tony thought I repressed my emotions? That was Haley’s coping mechanism. I was the one who’d shed tears for Matt and her father. I was able to step up and take responsibility when things went wrong. I blamed myself because I was, in fact, to blame. I knew I wasn’t worthy because my parents had told me time and again that I was a burden, and if not for the money, they would have given me away.

“I know about that way of coping because I’ve been there.” Tony’s leather chair creaked when he leaned back and put his feet up on the desk. “I had a rough childhood—foster care, adoption, all that shit. I went into the army to make something of myself and lost my entire unit on deployment. I fell into that pattern of self-blame as a survival response. I never thought I was good enough. I didn’t think I could be loved. And then I met Maria, who loved me despite my flaws. I went to therapy. I got my act together and started this business to help other vets. And that’s what I’m doing now. This knocked you down, but I’m telling you to get back up, and that starts with talking to a professional. I’ll set up the appointment today. Where are you going to be based? If you want to stay in Chicago, we have an excellent psychologist on staff and Jordan’s got more than enough work to take you on.”

“I’m going to stay in LA,” I said. “It’s home now. I’ve lived here for the last two years.”

“You’ve lived in clients’ houses and hotels,” he pointed out. “Whereas in Chicago, we’re still paying rent to Haley’s landlord for your room, and in Virginia, you own an actual house.”

“I’m putting that up for sale. There’s nothing for me there and no reason ever to go back.”

He drummed his fingers on the desk again. “If that’s what you want, but you take whatever assignment I give you without complaint.”

What I wanted was to be in Chicago with Haley. What I wanted was to be the kind of man who could give her the lifeshe deserved—a life of security and stability, a life where one day she would sing and dance around the kitchen in joyful and utter abandon.

“That’s what I want.”

“I’ll set up that appointment today and you can head back over to Jessica’s place.” He gave me a wicked grin. “She just fired the third bodyguard I sent over. You’re the only person she’s been able to tolerate.”

Jessica was thrilled to have me back on her service.

“You’ve been down here a long time. I was worried you got lost,” she said from the doorway of one of the four suites she kept available for staff and guests. I’d been unpacking my bag when my phone buzzed with a message from Chad, and I’d been distracted by the videos he’d sent of Dante’s Inferno playing the Backstop Bar.

“Sorry, Jess. I’ll be right up. Is the car here already?”

“No, we’ve got another ten minutes.” She walked in and leaned against the dresser. Every room in her ultra-modern house was impeccably decorated in cool white and gray tones, including the spacious guest suites. “I was delighted when Tony said you were coming back. I thought you never worked for the same client twice.”

“Circumstances changed.” I paused the video of Haley dancing on stage and singing “Born to Be Wild” to an enthusiastic crowd.

“Or maybe you’ve changed,” she said. “You seem different. Less hollow.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I’m the same guy I was the last time I was here.” I grabbed a handful of shirts, and she moved from the dresser so I could put them in the drawer.

“What were you watching?” she asked, studying my phone.

“A video of a gig at a college bar. A friend sent it to me. We have mutual friends in the band.”

“I love new bands.” She sat on my bed and patted the comforter beside her. “Let me see.”

I wanted to enjoy the videos of Haley singing with Dante’s Inferno in private, but I was in Jessica’s house, and she was paying the bills. She was also a people person and genuinely interested in others, which was why she was so well-liked in the industry. I didn’t know why her personable nature didn’t translate when it came to the bodyguards she’d fired, but I wasn’t about to start the job off on the wrong foot, so I scrolled to my favorite of the songs I’d heard. Haley was center stage and she’d blown me away with the power of her voice.

“My friend Chad recorded their entire set. I haven’t seen it all, but this one stood out.” I handed her the phone and she watched, entranced, for the entire song.

“Their vocalist is amazing.” Jessica studied me intently. “Is she why you asked me to put you in touch with Stefan?”

“Yes, and thank you again for that. I couldn’t believe he took the time. She doesn’t even have an agent.”

“Stefan is a darling and he owed me.” Jessica smiled. “What did he think?”

“He told her she had an incredible voice and stage presence, but there were some things she needed to work on. He gave her his card and told her to call him when she was ready, and he’d come and hear her again.”

“Stefan doesn’t waste his time,” she said warmly. “He must really have thought she had something. I hope she follows through.”

“So do I.”

Jessica tipped her head to the side. “You like this girl, don’t you?”

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