Page 50 of Love on Tour
“Because cool guys like Austin Garrett don’t like nerdy girls like Christine Matthews.”
“Sure, they do. Don’t you watch Hallmark movies?” Austin said, a sly grin sneaking across his face.
“I do. Shocked that you do. But life isn’t a movie. And in the real world, the geek doesn’t get the hotshot.”
“Who the hell did this to you?”
“What do you mean?” She tried to appear defiant, but her voice quivered.
“You know damn well what I mean. Who made you feel this way about yourself?”
“Oh, Austin. It’s not a story you want to hear.” She got up and went to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of wine, and grabbed a beer for Austin.
He took it and clinked his bottle with her glass.
“I do want to hear it.”
“Well, I don’t want to tell it—or relive it. It’s in the past.”
“No, it’s not. It’s very much in the present. At least for you.”
Christine took in a breath and held it while Austin stared at her. It was as if he was waiting her out. His eyes held compassion. Concern. And something more that she couldn’t put a name to.
“ShortReader’s Digestversion? I was bullied. Of course, in hindsight, weren’t we all bullied to some degree in grade school? But back then I didn’t have a big social circle, so I thought it was just happening to me. In seventh grade, I went from being an average-sized kid to feeling gargantuan. I grew five inches in one year and my body filled out. While my friends were staying cute and petite, I was growing hips and breasts like a full-grown woman. I had the body of everyone’s mom. And remember, this was all before fat shaming became taboo. Sadly, nobody seemed to have a problem with it back then. With my crazy, curly, unruly hair, I was called everything from ape-girl to Sasquatch. There was another Christine in our class, but she was Cute Christine. I was Ugly Christine. They found a way to differentiate us so nobody would confuse us. No guy wantedto say he thought Christine was pretty and have people think he meant me.”
Christine paused. She had to think fast. She didn’t want to tell him everything. She closed her eyes, not wanting to rememberthat momentbut unable to stop it from coming to the surface. It was Senior Spirit Night and there was a big pep rally at school. Her parents had insisted that she go, despite her protests. They thought it would be a way for her to bond with classmates and have fun. It wasn’t. She sat alone in the bleachers. The four guys sitting behind her were drunk. She could smell the beer on their breath. They harassed her, pulling her hair and calling her names. They talked about her like she couldn’t hear them. She moved. They moved behind her. She moved again. They followed. It was a game to them. She wanted to get up and leave but was afraid to be alone in the parking lot. What if they followed her? She tried to ignore them, and when the rally ended, she got up and headed directly outside. But even with a crowd of people leaving, they still followed and encircled her. One of the guys was big, a wrestler, and he seemed to be the leader. “I bet you’ve never even been kissed, have you?”
Christine stayed silent.
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll take one for the team. I’ll give you your first kiss.”
The hair on Christine’s neck stood up. Unbridled fear. The body reacts before the mind catches up. Why wasn’t anyone else noticing this and helping her? Her classmates walked by, talking with one another, laughing. How could they not see what was happening in front of them? She thought about screaming but worried she’d make the guys mad. What would they do if they were angry? And her classmates still might not help her.
“Bryan, that’s so gross. You’re kissing Sasquatch?” said one of them.
“Just trying to do my civic duty and help the ugly one out. Can’t only kiss the pretty girls, can we? What do you say, Christine?”
“I say no.” She said it quietly but with conviction.
“No? You’re saying no to me?” He gave a sardonic huff.
“I said no.” Her body shook from the inside. Bile rose to her throat. She swallowed it, refusing to let them see how scared she was.
Bryan’s cheeks reddened and his voice rose in pitch. “You’re not only ugly but gutless. Scared of a little kiss, are we? Chrissy is a sissy. Who knew?” He punched the guy next to him, who nodded in agreement.
They chanted “Chrissy is a sissy” over and over.
Christine felt tears coming. She closed her eyes tight to keep them from falling, and when she wasn’t looking, Bryan’s big hands grabbed her, pulling her against his body. Her eyes flew open. She couldn’t move. They always talk about fight or flight, but what about freeze? She froze. He brought his mouth down on hers and ground his lips against her teeth.
“Oh, yeah. Now she’s getting it. Put the ol’ tongue in there, Bryan,” one of his friends yelled.
“Grab her big juicy tit,” another voice said.
He’d tried to force his tongue into her mouth, but she’d clamped her lips shut. His hand squeezed her breast, hard. It hurt. She slammed both of her hands against his chest, trying to push him away, but he was so big he didn’t move. Her brain couldn’t catch up to think ahead of those brutes. She was smarter than they were, but this wasn’t about intelligence. This was physical and raw and mean.
His friends circled closer. They were within a foot of her and Bryan, shielding what was happening so nobody else could see.
“Hey, Bryan. How about we move her to the shaggin’ wagon and really show her what you’ve got?” one of the guys said.
