Page 53 of Love on Tour
THE DAYS WENT BY SLOWLY.A week felt like a month. Christine missed Austin. She also missed Matt. She had tried to stop thinking about him. It was the proper thing to do. Girl code and all. But she thought of him. Every day. Every night. The mind can make all the decisions it wants, but the heart doesn’t always pay attention. Christine finally understood people’s obsession with social media. She now lived on it, virtually fulfilling her hunger to be with both Austin and Matt. Matt never posted about Cait, and she now understood why he didn’t post about other women. It would be disrespectful. He seemed like the faithful type. The main characteristic she looked for in a man. Yet it was also what kept them apart.
Like most artists, Austin posted about everything. She knew artists were encouraged to post often, and when they did it themselves instead of hiring someone, it made the fans feel closer to them. He was having a great run, playing festivals with multiple A- and B-level artists. All of whom Christine could be meeting and making important connections with.
Eventually, she shut down the socials. It made her have severe FOMO. She used to laugh when her friends expressed their fear of missing out. Christine was more of a JOMO person—she loved the joy of missing out, staying home on a Saturday night, reading a book instead of being at yet another industry event that was wall-to-wall people. She wasn’t laughing now as she realized FOMO was real.
TWO WEEKS AFTER CUTTING TIESwith Austin, while having a taco lunch with Julianna, Christine groaned.
“I miss him,” Christine said. “He’s like my crazy little brother who left for camp, and I miss his antics.”
“Then call him,” Julianna said.
“It’s not that easy. I miss him. I don’t miss being stalked.”
“Maybe the person has given up,” Julianna said.
“As long as I’m not seen with him. Maybe he’s found someone to hook up with,” Christine said. “That would help.” She noticed a weird look on Julianna’s face.
“What?”
“I didn’t want to tell you,” Julianna said.
“Just tell me.”
“Phoebe saw him at Losers Bar this past weekend. He was drunk, and when he saw her, he unloaded about missing you and how he couldn’t stand what was happening and so on. Phoebe said he was practically in tears.”
“Let me guess. She consoled him the only way Phoebe knows how. God. I thought she was making a play for Chase Rice. Didn’t she always say he was the most shaggable guy in country music?”
“I don’t think that’s the word she used.”
“I’m trying to clean it up. Couldn’t she just leave Austin alone? Did she have to bring it so close to home for me?”
Julianna said, “I’m not sure it was about you. She said—”
“I’ve heard enough,” Christine said, waving Julianna off.
“It bothers you,” Julianna said.
“I don’t care what he did with Phoebe. It’s not like that with Austin and me. But why does it have to be Phoebe? And now it’ll be even more awkward when they break it off.”
“How do you know they will?” Julianna asked.
“Odds are against them,” Christine said. “She’s just so . . . so . . .”
“Phoebe,” Julianna said.
“Exactly. Oh well. Maybe the stalkers will back off now.”
THE WEEKS MELTED TOGETHER.Christine chided herself, berated herself, and had long conversations with herself. Shemissed Matt and the opportunity to see him. And accidentally touch him. And pretend she had a chance with him. She had set aside her thoughts of having a physical relationship with him, but that didn’t stop her from having an emotional relationship with him, if only in her mind. It was comforting to know she could have feelings for a man. She’d worried after her high school experience that she’d never allow herself to open up to a guy. Yet here she was in an emotional relationship with two of them—one as a friend and one as something more. It made giving them up that much harder. There was a constant battle raging in her head. Should she give in and reach out to Austin, knowing the cyberbullying and stalking could start up again? Or should she stay safe and remain at a distance? And if he was with Phoebe, wasn’t she in the clear anyway?
Christine had a heart-to-heart with herself. She hadn’t taken many risks in her life, but when she had, it paid off. Like when she stood up to her bullies that night. And although she had to endure their harassment, she’d never regretted dropping that guy with a solid groin kick. Maybe this was a time to be brave.
Christine was staring at her phone when Julianna walked into her office.
“You know, we haven’t been to a songwriter’s night in months. I know you’re afraid to go out in public, but how long are you going to hide?” Julianna asked, sitting down.
Christine was still staring at her phone.
“What are you doing?” Julianna asked.
