Page 78 of Hard Hitter

"You do realize this is the definition of a home intrusion, right?" Rae fumed. She was standing just outside the door to the master bathroom,as if she was trying to get as far away from him as possible. "I know in California they're a bunch of little bitches, but according to Michigan law, I could shoot you right now."

"Rae, please just listen to me," said Quinn as he approached her. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and kiss her tears away. He wanted to make love to her any and every way she wanted. "Please, Rae. You have to know I didn't mean it."

"Then why did you say it?" she challenged, arms folded.

"Because…" Quinn hesitated, not knowing how to explain it, "Because I still don't know why the hell you would want me. Because I have these goddamn insecurities that I haven't dealt with yet. Because I'm really good at fueling my fucking ego to try to make myself feel like I'm enough."

“You sure as hell didn’t sound insecure when you were bragging to everyone about how your words turn me into some kind of sex fiend.”

Quinn groaned miserably and ran a hand down his face. “I know, I know, and I have no excuse for that. Rae, I am so sorry. I acted like a fucking monster tonight, but please know that’s not me.”

“How can I know that? We’ve been together for a month. We haven’t seen each other in years, and that last time we met up in college wasn’t a whole lot different than tonight,” Rae said.

God dammit, she’s right.

“I was nervous that night,” said Quinn. “We hadn’t seen each other in almost four years and I wanted so badly to impress you. I’d been trying to impress you since I was thirteen, and I always fell short of the mark.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault for being impossible to please?” she retorted, with a hand on her chest. “Quinn, use your head. Think of the times we had the most fun as kids, the things we used to enjoy the most. It wasn’t my crazy over the top birthday parties. It was playing baseball or just watching movies and talking to each other, hanging out at the park or downtown, or just walking around with no destination.”

“We did that stuff all the time, yeah, but none of it ever made you think of me as more than a friend. I loved being your best friend, Rae, but I wanted more than that.”

“Are you sure? Because I seem to remember sitting there,completelyavailable, while you flirted and messed around with just about every other girl in school.” Rae was letting out thoughts Quinn was sure she’d been holding in for years.

He found himself heating up again as she questioned his feelings for her. Fuck, he knew anger was not going to get him where he wanted, but he couldn’t help it. “Completely available? Rae, you hopped from one guy to the next. You may have only had a couple of actual boyfriends, but you always had guys trailing after you, begging to be next.”

“Oh, please,” Rae rolled her eyes. “How is it my problem that other guys were attracted to me? I’m not the one who went around shoving my hands down the panties of everyone who looked at me.”

Quinn felt his face twist into an incredulous glare before he could help it. “I didnotshove my hands in girls’ panties. And okay, you say the attention you attracted wasn’t your problem? You think we didn’t all know that was exactly your intent when you wore those skimpy little skorts and tight tops? Come on, youlovedbeing able to make guys drool and fantasize about you. And trust me, it fucking worked. You wouldn’t imagine some of the shit those guys talked about wanting to do with you behind your back!”

Rae scoffed. “Really, Quinn? Wearing certain clothes means I was asking for whatever sick fantasies you guys came up with? That’s original.”

She took a step closer to him and he stood up straighter and swallowed. Her sudden closeness reminded him through his fog of anger and frustration that he’d come here to apologize, to get her back, to make up for being a dick earlier. Not to criticize her and act like a dick again.Shit, why was he attacking her for things that had happened over ten years ago?

“Did it ever occur to you that I wore those skorts and tops because I was sick of being seen as just another one of the guys?” Rae questioned. “I wore them because I liked them, sure, but maybe part of me wanted to actually be thought of as a girl for a change.”

“We knew you were a girl, Rae. We just didn’t think you wanted us to act like it. You wouldn’t want us to treat you differently just because you were suddenly...you know, a babe.”

Rae raised her eyebrow and he could tell she was trying not to let the smirk pull at her lips. “A babe, huh?”

“We might have had conversations about it.”

“Conversations? Like that locker room bullshit you pulled tonight?” Rae countered, scathingly.

Quinn put his hands over his face and groaned. "Rae, please, I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have talked about you like that, but...I got jealous, okay? Your ex was going on about how much you just couldn’t wait for him to get home and that you were all over him all the time. I just-wehave been having the best sex that I have ever had. Like every day. For almost a month now. I don’t like thinking it was ever like this with you and some other guy. I want to know thatI’mthe only person who can make you feel like that. I've never felt this before. Being near you at all, Rae, is a fucking dream." He stepped closer and closed what was left of the gap between them. Reaching out his hand, he touched the side of her face as he peered deep into her eyes. The usual bright blue was darkened as she stared back at him, unyielding. "But beingwithyou, beinginsideyou…" His mouth twitched with a smirk as he watched the small intake of breath at his words. "It's all I can think about. You've got me hooked, and I don't want to do or think about anything or anyone else."

Rae let his hand rest on her face and he slid his thumb gently over the arch of her cheekbone a few times before she stepped back abruptly. Quinn dropped his hand down to his side with a sigh.

She eyed him warily. "How do I know that's not just who you are now? How do I know when you go back to L.A. that you won't justjump right back into your little 'bad boy of baseball' routine you've created over the last few years? How doyouknow you won't regret tying yourself to one woman the first time you see some hot model who wants to throw herself at you?" Rae was pacing in front him now. Three steps, turn, another three steps, turn.

"Don't you think there's a reason it didn't work with all those girls?" said Quinn, now taking his hat off so he could nervously run his hands through his mess of hair. "I didn't want to be with them. Ever since high school, all those girls I was with were a distraction from how bad I wanted you. Rae, you're the only girl who has never left my mind."

"'All those girls',"Rae repeated, stopping her pacing to glare at him with her arms crossed over her chest. "Speaking ofallof those girls, don't you think it's a little ironic that you're the one who seems to get jealous all the time? You're the one who's been messing around with who knows how many women, and yetyouget jealous of the one guy I’ve been with in the last few years and had a relationship with."

Quinn knew he got jealous easily. Of course he did. He used to fantasize about Rae beinghis girlfor years. Ever since that day at the ballpark when she'd given him a kiss on the cheek with his hat on. He started coming up with excuses for her to wear his hats more often or offer his team shirts and sweatshirts that had his last name on them. He wanted everyone to see her with his name on her. He was possessive. He wanted to stake his claim on her but was always so sure he wasn't good enough. So he pretended.

"Yeah, I do get jealous easily, Rae," Quinn nodded. "I get jealous because- and I don't mean this in a way that's meant to treat you like an object or a prize- I get jealous of those guys because you'remine. You've always been mine. Everyone seems to get that except you."

Rae scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking off to the side.

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