Page 57 of Twisted Minds

twenty

Hunter

“I’m going to die.” I hold my hand out to Mark as he wobbles slowly toward me, clutching the wall for dear life. Fuck, I can’t stop smiling, he’s so damn cute. Skating takes practice, but once you get your balance everything else comes with it. I started skating when I was six years old—I remember it so well—and I’ve played hockey practically all my life. My father used to take me to all my practices. He’s a huge fan of the game and wanted me to go pro.

For years I was the perfect son, and I got amazing grades. I’m not the smartest guy around, but I study my ass off, and my memory and reading comprehension is really good. I’ve always picked things up quickly. I played all through middle school, then joined a team in high school. My father was so proud of me. I was the perfect son.

Then I came out when I was fourteen. I’d always felt a little different, but I knew then, and my father was furious. He didn’t believe me. He told me I was just confused, that I just admired the athletes. He was wrong. For months I joined chat rooms andtalked to other athletes who’d come out. I knew he was going to deny me and double down on his dismissal. I knew that while I did admire athletes, I also was very much attracted to the ones I watched on TV. My mother never questioned me, she supported me, and my father loved her more than absolutely everything in this world.

Including me. Especially me.

It was hard to go from having two parents who loved me and took care of me, to one. My father used to do these subtle things to let me know how much he hated me after that. I’m not sure if my mother noticed. They fought a lot behind closed doors when they didn’t know I could hear them. I almost want to bet they would have divorced if she hadn’t been diagnosed with breast cancer and relied heavily on the care my father provided her.

I remember at her funeral he didn’t sit anywhere near me. I sat with Lia. “He’s just grieving,” she’d said to make me feel better, but I knew the truth. He hated me. He wasn’t even the one to tell me she’d passed; it was my grandmother. You may be asking yourself, why didn’t anyone in my family take me in after he abandoned me? But they were all just like him, and my mother had no surviving family who were able to.

Lia—Jamie’s mom—had been there, though.

“I don’t have any padding! My ass has no cushion. I have negative ass. If I fall, I’ll crack in half.” I bite back my laugh watching this man, my man, practically crawl his way onto the ice.

I take his hand finally, pulling him to me. “I happen to love your ass.” I do my best to keep him steady. “A perfectly cute ass.”

Mark huffs out a laugh. “You’re being nice. I know how skinny I am. I am sans ass.”

I hold him to me. “Don’t talk about it like that, we’re just starting to become great friends.”

“You’re an idiot.”

I lean in, unable to prevent the grin on my face, before kissing the tip of his nose. “The first thing you learn is to fall. How to fall. Get used to falling.” He wobbles in my hold, but to me, skating is as natural as walking. “Take a deep breath.” Mark does as he’s told, relaxing a bit in my hands. “Good. Now, don’t be afraid to fall. It will happen. It hurts a little, but you’ll be fine.”

“Says the man who practically speared his opponent into the glass the other night.”

“That fucker had it coming,” I growl. What people don’t know is, that guy called my winger Tanni a slur. I’d do it again, proudly.

“It’s hot, you know.” Mark smiles in my arms. “You’re so calm and patient but seeing you on the ice . . . damn. Super fucking hot.”

“Oh yeah?” I hold him steady, skating as slowly as I can without toppling over. He’s still stiff in my arms but starting to calm. He’s wearing the hoodie I gave him the first time he came over, and it makes me feel possessive. He wears it almost every time I see him. Seeing my last name splayed across his back gives a primal stroke to my ego. “You’re doing great.”

“No, you’re doing great holding my ass up so I don’t break my tailbone.”

“Falling is one of the first things we learn.” I laugh.

“What’s the worst injury you ever got from hockey?”

I think. I haven’t had too many injuries. “One time in high school, I got tripped up over an opposing player’s skates. I fell, but my helmet was actually knocked off and I hit the ice pretty hard. Had a concussion. Luckily, I was okay. The fall kind of knocked me out, so I didn’t feel it too much.”

“I would be afraid.”

“If you’re afraid to fall you can’t skate.” Not well anyway. You have to take the fear out of it and treat it as inevitable. “If all you’re thinking about is the fear, your brain can’t relax enough tothink about what you’re actually doing.” I’ve been knocked over, knocked on my ass, pushed into the glass. It’s all part of it.

“You’re an amazing player. I still don’t know much about it, but I can tell you play insanely well. Skating like that while playing a game is so impressive.”

“Oh yeah?” I smile gently, skating with him in my arms. I love the cool arena, I love the lights and the fans, but this moment right now may be my favorite ever on the ice. With one arm around his waist as we skate slowly, I just enjoy his warmth. “Does it turn you on?”

Mark smiles, and I still can’t believe I’m the first guy he’s been with this way. It makes me feel good. This primal part of me I don’t let out too often preens at the idea. “Yeah, it does.” That husky tone sends pleasure roiling through my stomach.

“You want to shower with me?” I ask him.

“In the locker room?” It is a weekend, and no one else should be here. I know Coach is at home, and who the hell else would be here on a free day? It’s a risk, but why does that excite me even more? I nod, and Mark’s pretty lips split into a smile. “Lead the way.”

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