Page 4 of More Than a Spark

“You two are pretty close though, right?” He stared toward the television. “Have you told him about us?”

“No, I haven’t told him.” Did I have to? Would it somehow change things between us? I shifted to face Tate, lifting one leg up on the couch.

“Are you going to?” He wrinkled his forehead. “I mean, I guess if my best straight friend turned out to be queer, I’d want to know.”

Was I queer? I wasn’t ready to declare that yet. I twisted my lips, then said, “I don’t know if I’m queer?—”

“Dude, you sucked my cock like a champion.” He scoffed a laugh. “And you were so damn good at it.” He slid his tongue over his lips, then lowered his brows. “I’m sorry…What’s going on, man? Talk to me.”

Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t know.” I toyed with the string on my sweats, heat creeping into my cheeks. “I’m uh, I’m still a little confused.” I lifted my gaze to his. Could I confide in him? Could we still be friends after what we’d done? If he were a woman, my experience saidno. But…“I’m not leaving Flagstaff because of you. I’m leaving to be close to my family. What happened between us, um, I don’t regret it, okay?”

“Okay.” He drank his coffee, looking off into the room a moment. “Can we keep in touch?” He rested his hand on my knee. “Look, it doesn’t have to be weird. It seems like you’re struggling a little bit and I want you to know youcantalk to me. We were friends before and we can be friends now.”

I nodded, my attention on the warmth of his hand on my knee. It didn’t bother me having him touch me like that, and that night, I’d been the one who’d kissed him first. I cringed inside. What the fuck was wrong with me? “Yeah, we can keep in touch.” But when I was with Milo, we were very affectionate. Milo even kissed me that time in high school. My heart fluttered. We’d been drunk, like the time I was with Tate. God, I was a mess right now.

“Dude, you okay?” He leaned in, his face coming close to mine, his gaze searching. “You look like you’re thinking too hard.” He chuckled.

“Oh it’s nothing. Maybe I’m only queer when I’m drunk.” I snorted a laugh, shaking my head. I was not going to tell him about the kiss with Milo.

He scruffed my hair and straightened, then downed the rest of his coffee. “Yeah, maybe margaritas make you queer.” He stood up, then walked into my kitchen. “Listen, I just wanted to make sure we were cool.”

I flung my arm over the back of my couch. “We’re cool. I do appreciate you coming by to talk about things.”

He squeezed my forearm. “Good. A word of advice? You should probably tell your friend back home what happened. You know, just in case you two go out for margaritas together.” He gave me a warm smile. “I’ll be seeing you, man.” He strode to the door and opened it. “Text me when you get down there and good luck if I don’t see you before you leave.”

“Thanks, Tate.” I watched him let himself out. He was a good guy, which was probably what had drawn me to him in the first place. Not the muscles or his good looks. Nope.

* * *

On Friday afternoon,after a grueling week of packing and preparing for my move, I squeezed the last of my boxes into the storage unit, then swiped my hands together and turned to Dad. “That’s it. All done.”

Dad planted a hand on my shoulder, his face weathered by years of working out in the Arizona sun building houses. “Good. It’s hot as balls out here and I need a beer.” He squinted at me, showing the wrinkles around his blue eyes. His short hair seemed whiter than the last time I’d seen him, and his paint-stained t-shirt and work pants hung off his body.

“A beer does sound good, but I promised Milo I’d hang out with him tonight.” I tugged the roller door down on the unit and set the lock.

“Oh?” He dropped his hand from my shoulder. “Guess I’m not surprised you’d want to go spend time with Milo right away and not your good ol’Dad.” A smile teased his lips.

“I’ll have plenty of time to hang out with you, don’t you worry.” I patted his sweaty back. He probably shouldn’t have been out here helping me, but there was no way I could talk him out of it.

We strolled to my U-Haul truck and climbed inside.

After wiping the sweat from my face with the bottom of my t-shirt and turning the engine on, I blasted the cab with the air conditioning. “So, what’s up with Hazel?” I might as well get caught up while we return my rental truck. I drove onto the main road in Tempe, passing plazas with palm trees and cactus, the sidewalks bordered by landscaping rock. The sun scorched down over everything, washing the color out of it. Things were so different down here, but the same as I’d remembered growing up.

“Hazel just got a job at a fancy salon in downtown Scottsdale. She’s got some real high-class clients, I guess. She’s getting paid well.” He propped his elbow on the door frame and curled his fingers around the grab handle in the roof.

“Yeah? So, it sounds like she’s doing better?” I turned onto the main boulevard, the clay-colored brick buildings of Arizona State University rising up in the distance, between glass high rises. Last time I’d spoken to Hazel, she’d been having problems paying her rent and I’d been preparing to help her out. So, this was good news.

“Aren’t you going to ask about your mother?” A smirk played over his lips as his body bounced along in the truck.

An old ache filtered through my chest. “I suppose I should.” I turned into a smaller street, then pulled into the parking lot for my rental return. It was always hard for me understand how terrible my parents’ break-up was when they’d never even married. “How is dear old Mom?”

“Same. She’s still waiting for you and Hazel to come to your senses and go to college.” A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest.

I stopped the truck in a parking spot and shook my head, heat filling my chest. “You know? Most mothers are fucking proud to have a fireman for a son. I’m sorry if I had a calling and she?—”

“Stop. It’s okay.” He grabbed my bicep. “I’mproud of you. Hazel sure as shit is proud of you and I know your friend Milo thinks the world of you. That kid always looked up to you, like you were a god or something.” His smile reached his twinkling eyes. “It’ll be good for you to be back here with him, with all of us. But he, he had a way of grounding you, making you happy.”

My heart warmed. “Yeah, he sure does.” I couldn’t wait to get showered and see what he wanted to do tonight. It was going to be like old times.

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