Page 89 of Perfectly Grumpy

Rourke

Can’t mute us now. This thread is how we survive without seeing your cheerful face every day.

Brax

Who wants a baby update?

Leo

No one.

Brax

I’m ignoring that. Jaz says the baby’s kicking like crazy, and we’re officially on a no travel lockdown. I have installed every baby monitor known to man.

Lucian

Do you know the gender?

Brax

We do. But we’re not telling anybody. And we’re naming him/her after Leo.

Leo

I respectfully decline.

Miles

Wait, you can just name babies after teammates? Is that like a hockey thing? Should I be worried?

Me

Can we get back to how Leo’s the worst wingman?

Leo

Don’t turn this on me. Victoria and I are visiting my adoptive parents this weekend. I told her we’re not giving my parents a private showing of our figure skating moves. She was very disappointed.

Rourke

Speaking of women, anyone heard from Janie? The kindergarten teacher I met at Boots and Buckles?

Lucian

Did you scare her away already? That’s a new record.

Rourke

She ghosted me after I helped her make balloon animals for a kids’ event. I thought the balloon sword was charming. She thought I needed adult supervision.

Me

Or maybe you should’ve led with your hockey stats and not your balloon skills.

Rourke

Hey, kids love me! She had twenty-two witnesses to my charm. Okay, so maybe it’s because they wanted my balloon sword.