Page 92 of Now and Forever

“What did Flyn do at school?” I cut him off.

“He got in a fight; the other kid had to have stitches in his head.”

That surprises me. I can tell Flyn’s not that much of a fighter, even though he has a busted lip. Eric brushes his hand over his head, furious, looks at Susto, and shouts, “I want it out of here now!”

The cold out here is nothing compared to the cold I feel in my heart, and before he says anything else, I threaten him. “If Susto goes, I’m going with him.”

Eric raises an eyebrow, leaving me aghast. “Do what you want. In the end, you always do,” he says before turning around.

Without another word, he walks away. He leaves me standing there, looking like an idiot and wanting to keep on arguing. Ten minutes go by, and I’m still outside the house with Susto. Eric doesn’t come back out. I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I understand I was wrong to bring Susto into the garage, but, on the other hand, I couldn’t leave this poor animal in the street.

I see Flyn peeking out his playroom window, and I wave at him. He does the same, and my heart skips a beat. Playing, the sled, and Susto all went well, but I can’t have the dog in this house. Simona comes out to talk to me.

“Miss, you’re going to catch a cold. You’re wet, and ...”

“Simona, I need to find a home for Susto. Eric doesn’t want him here.”

She closes her eyes and nods, her expression gloomy.

“You know I’d keep him at my house, but the boss would get mad. You know that, right?” she says. I nod. “If you want, we can call animal protection. I’m sure they could find him a place.”

I ask her to find me the phone number. There’s no other way. But I won’t go in the house. If I see Eric, I’ll go ballistic. I walk down the path with Susto until we get to the huge fence. I go outside and play with him; he’s happy to be with me. Tears start creeping up my eyes, and I let them come. It’s worse to hold them in, so I cry while throwing stones for Susto, who goes running after them. Poor thing!

Twenty minutes later, Simona hands me a piece of paper with the phone number.

“Norbert says you should ask for Henry and tell him Norbert sent you.”

I thank her and take my cell out of my pocket, and, with a heavy heart, I do as Simona said. I talk to this Henry, and he tells me they’ll come by in an hour to pick up my dog.

It’s already nighttime. I tell Simona to go into the house so she can have dinner with Eric and Flyn. I stay outside with Susto. I’m frozen. But it’s nothing compared to the cold the poor dog must have felt this whole time. Eric calls, but I refuse to answer. I don’t want to talk to him. He can fuck off!

Soon, lights appear at the end of the street. I know it’s the car coming to take Susto away. I cry. Susto looks at me. An animal protection van pulls up.

A man who identifies himself as Henry gets out. He looks at the dog and touches his head. I sign some papers he hands me, and, while he opens the back doors of the van, he says, “Say goodbye, miss. I’m going. And please, take off what he’s got on his neck.”

“It’s a scarf I made for him. He has a cold.”

Henry looks at me and insists, “Please, take it off. It’s for the best.”

I curse. I close my eyes and do as he says. When I have the scarf in my hands, I sigh. What a sad moment. I stare at Susto, who’s looking at me with his big, bulging eyes, and, crouching down, I murmur as I touch his bony head.

“I’m sorry, darling, but this isn’t my house. If it were, I promise you, nobody could take you away from here.” He puts his wet snout close to my face and gives me a big lick. “They’re going to find you a nice home, a cozy place where they’ll treat you well.”

I can’t say any more. My tears are streaming down my face. This is like saying goodbye to my cat, Curro, all over again. I give him a kiss on the head, and Henry picks up Susto and puts him in the van. He resists, but Henry is used to doing this, and he handles him. When he closes the doors, he says goodbye and drives off.

Not moving, I watch the van drive away, and Susto with it. I cover my face with the scarf and cry some more. Everything feels harder in Munich. Flyn won’t make things easy for me, and Eric is sometimes cold as ice.

When I turn around to go back inside the house, I’m surprised to see Eric standing behind the fence. The darkness keeps me from seeing his eyes, but I know they’re fixed on me. He opens the door for me. I pass by him and don’t say a word.

“Jude ...”

Angry, I turn toward him. “It’s done. Don’t worry. Susto is out of your damned house.”

“Listen, Jude ...”

“No, I don’t want to listen to you. Leave me alone.”

Without another word, I start walking. He follows me, but we’re silent. When we get to the house, we go in and take off our coats, and he takes me by the hand. Quickly, I pull away and hurry upstairs. I don’t want to talk to him. Upstairs, I run straight into Flyn. The kid looks at me, but I walk past him and into my room, slamming the door. I take off my boots and my wet jeans, and head toward the shower. I’m frozen, and I need some warmth.

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