Page 100 of A Legacy of Poison and Lies

“After I thought I killed him.”

Another brush of that feeling, the confirmation from him and a look of gratitude as he went on, “I was able to just send word back to Arnir, and that was enough for Marcus, for a while.”

Zylah stared at the flames, the wood hissing and popping as it burnt. He’d thought he was keeping Marcus on his side, aiding the plan to take down Arnir. And all along, Marcus had had the upper hand. He’d had a vampire, compelling Holt to do whatever he asked of him.

“Living with you in Virian…” Holt said, “I haven’t had a home in years. And for the first time, I felt like I belonged somewhere. With you. It was always you.”

Zylah turned to face him, her heart beating wildly in her chest. From the start, she’d told herself he wasn’t interested, that he didn’t see her that way.I won’t touch you. You don’t have to be afraid of me,he’d said.But she’d never been afraid of him. She’d been drawn to him, so much that it scared her. And she’d… she’d buried it, just as he had.

“But then you came back to the tavern that night, Raif’s scent all over you, asking me questions about mates. I saw how much you rejected the idea; how afraid you still were after everything that had happened with Jesper. And I told myself that if it was what you needed, ifRaifwas what you needed, I wouldn’t get in the way. Even if…” Even though he’d felt something for her. His fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt over his heart as he cleared his throat. “But I’d been away from Marcus for too long, and he sought me out on his next visit to Virian.”

“The night in the tunnels,” Zylah murmured.

Holt nodded. “He’s been using the tunnel system for years.”

She remembered the all-consuming fear that had overtaken her. “I felt you,” she said, so quietly she wasn’t sure he could hear it. She’d had no idea where she was going that night, only a quiet certainty that whatever direction she’d been heading, it would lead her to him, and it did.

“Marcus was obsessed with you. Even now, every time I try to remember why; it’s like walking through quicksand.” He dragged a hand through his hair as if he could hold onto whatever memory had been compelled out of him. “The thought of him taking you… I knew I had to leave. I convinced myself it was what I wanted. Because I couldn’t… couldn’t breathe around you. I was going out of my mind, and I was so afraid I was going to fuck everything up somehow if I stayed. That I was going to lead Marcus to you. I left Virian the next day.”

For months he’d stayed away. Zylah sank into the lounger beside him, searching his face as the pieces of his story clicked together. The realisation that Marcus had been pulling the strings, all along, turned her stomach. But the way Holt was looking at her, with so much reverence in his eyes, so much love—she understood his choices, knew she would have made the same ones had it been her in his position.

“I came back two weeks before the festival with a promise of a report for Arnir, but all I could think of was seeing you. And the room at the tavern… Raif’s scent was everywhere.”

A fresh wave of guilt spiralled inside her. That he’d had to bear witness to that.

“I would have endured it, Zylah, if I knew you were happy.” But his voice was broken as he said it, and her heart fractured for him. “I returned to Dalstead with the report Arnir wanted. Marcus always knew what I was planning in Virian, and he never tried to stop me.”

“Because he wanted Arnir out of the way. And because he knew he could have Jesper compel you to do anything he wanted.”

Holt’s silence was all the confirmation Zylah needed.

“You looked so beautiful that night at the botanical gardens. I think I went just to torture myself.” His hand dropped to the bracelet she’d given him, as if he was replaying the moment quietly to himself.

She remembered how he’d sat on her bed beside her that night when she was asleep, the way he’d been with her the next morning, braiding her hair and asking her questions as if they were having two conversations at once.Would it have changed anything?he’d asked her. She shifted to face him, fingers aching to reach out for him, but she let him finish. Knew he needed to finish what he had to say.

“The festival rolled around, and I knew Marcus would be there, but I couldn’t do anything about it, couldn’t say anything. I’d never been more relieved than when you evanesced Raif away with you because it kept you both away from him. But then he took Asha.”

“And I left,” Zylah said, angling her face away to look at the flames. She hadn’t been able to look them all in the eye knowing Asha had died because of her, and she’d run.

“I knew you’d gone home,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest again. “I thought you were safe. But days passed and I… I followed the trail of your evanescing. I went to your father’s cottage and found it burnt to the ground… and I couldn’tfeelyou anywhere.” His voice broke on the last few words, and Zylah’s eyes snapped back to his face in time to see his throat bob.

“Because I was wearing the cuffs,” she said softly.

A slight dip of his chin was all the acknowledgement he gave. “I went out of my mind looking for you. Only Saphi asked me if I was okay. I should have realised then that they knew.Ishould have realised.”

Rose and Raif. Zylah still couldn’t quite believe it. How long had they both known? How long had they kept it secret?

“I told you it was Kopi that led me to you… but I felt you, Zylah, the moment the cuffs came off, I felt you. I evanesced to the forest and heard you calling out for help, and I think I took my first proper breath for the first time in days. I saw you through the trees, and it was as if every step I’d ever taken in my life had been towards you.”

He didn’t reach for her, though she knew he wanted to. She could feel his hesitation, his regret at the way things had played out. His fear and his relief as if she were reliving it all with him. She took his hand, laced her fingers with his to let him know she wasn’t going anywhere, let him feel her heart beating in time with his.

His thumb brushed over hers, a shudder rolling through him. “I knew what you were then. What we were. If you hadn’t been injured, I think I’d have torn Raif apart the minute he arrived at the cabin.”

“You were giving me time to heal.”

A nod. “I’d fought the compulsion as much as I could. Being closer to you always made it easier, and in those early days, I didn’t give it much thought. When Jesper showed up in the forest, part of me knew he’d been alive all along, and part of me couldn’t work out how I hadn’t put two and two together sooner.”

“You’d been compelled to forget,” Zylah said, her attention on their hands. And then Jesper had killed Raif. Or so they’d thought. Anger flared in her chest again for everything Marcus had taken from them. For the way he’d played them all.

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