Page 101 of A Legacy of Poison and Lies

Holt didn’t linger on everything that had transpired at the cabin. “As soon as Rose told us Marcus was coming for you, it was like another part of the compulsion lifted. I knew he’d been obsessing over you for months. And all that mattered was getting you as far away from him as possible. I spent the months after you left trying to track down the spell Oz had used, and then I felt you again.” He swallowed. Cleared his throat. “You were sleeping, I think. A nightmare. Night after night, when you should have been long gone from Kerthen, I felt you. And you were suffering.” His eyes darkened. With anger, with regret.

“You,” Zylah breathed. The voice that had been calling her name. “I heard you.” Her fingers squeezed his for a moment as realisation sliced through her. “Rose didn’t tell you where I was, did she?”

Holt shook his head almost imperceptibly. “I saw flashes of Varda, as if I was there with you, felt an echo of your pain. But Marcus was still searching for you and once I had the spell, the only way I could get away from him was by telling him…” He frowned, his lips pressing together.

“That you were going to bring me back to him,” she finished for him when she recognised he couldn’t get the words out; when she understood what he’d have had to promise in order to get away.Her.

Zylah thought about how he’d said he’d fought against the compulsion, if it could be peeled away the same way she could pull back the corner of wards and deceits. If all magic could be unravelled as if tugging at a thread and she tucked the thought away for another time.

“Yes.” The word fell from his lips like a confession he’d been trying to tell her for months. “I could feel your pain from the vanquicite, but only the times you let me in. You’re much better at shielding yourself than you know. You weren’t eating, and I didn’t know if it was from the vanquicite. Nothing I tried worked and the healing felt as if it were diminishing each time.”

She realised now, the resentment she felt coming from him. It wasn’t just at Raif, at what he’d done. It was for himself, and it shattered her heart even more. And that he’d been compelled, this entire time…

Raif had thrown that fact at them like a weapon, and she found herself sifting through all the hateful words he’d spat at them earlier that evening, just in case he’d imparted any more truths Holt couldn’t. “How long have you known about Raif? He mentioned the vampire at the tomb, Caleb.”

“Only then, not before. I tried to tell you, but I know how meaningless that sounds.”

Zylah laughed dryly. “You were a little busy saving my life.” And he’d almost given his in the process.

“You were close, Zylah.” Close to dying. His lips pressed together again, but not because of any compulsion, his fear turning palpable in the air between them. “All I knew was that I was willing to do anything,giveanything, to keep your heart beating. Even if you found out everything. Even if you could never forgive me for all of this.”

“I’m not angry with you, Holt, I’m angry that this has happened to you. That Marcus has been using you. That Raif…” She choked back a sob. “I’m angry with myself. How can you say you love me after what I’ve put you through?”

How could a heart like his ever love something as broken and fucked up as hers?

His hand came up to her face, cupping her cheek, his eyes searching hers.

“Because I know your heart, Zylah,” he said, as if he’d heard her. “How you fought with your guilt over Raif. I knew this would hurt you just as much, and I tried to protect you from it, the only way I knew how.”

“By giving me time.”Time is all I could give you, he’d told her, because he hadn’t been able to give her the truth, because it was as close to an apology as he’d been able to offer her when he couldn’t say the words out loud. She pushed up to her knees, pressed her hand to his chest, and she felt him sag with relief that she finally understood. “There’s nothing to forgive, Holt. And I promise you, we will find a way out of this, to end Marcus, to break every last piece of Jesper’s compulsion. You’ve fought for me, over and over again, and I want you to know that I will always do that for you. That I’m willing to do anything,giveanything, for you.” His breath caught at her words, his eyes searching hers as if he was still half expecting her to get up and walk away. But she knew, with a certainty that settled into her bones, that she would never walk away from him again.

She shifted into his lap, her hand never breaking from his chest as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I want this, Holt. I want you, in every possible way.”

This time, when he kissed her, it was soft, slow. Tender.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Atthefirsttentativepress of Holt’s magic against hers, Zylah understood everything she hadn’t before, and the gentleness of their kiss turned into something wild and demanding. Teeth and tongues and hands grappling at each other’s shirts, his rock-hard arousal pressing between them, a sound of satisfaction rumbling deep within him.

His hips rolled into her as she tore off his ruined shirt, heat flooding her core. She pulled back to admire the way he looked in the soft firelight, to trace a hand along the scar running from his arm to his neck, each kiss that followed her touch a silent promise to see him liberated from every hold ever put on him. Each press of her lips to his skin was a vow to do everything she could to secure his freedom, but she wouldn’t let herself dwell on those who bound him, didn’t want anything but love to slip through the bond that pulled taut between them, his magic wrapping around them both.

Holt slid a hand into the waistband of her trousers as she found her way back up to his mouth, releasing the hold on her magic just a fraction and he groaned in response, hips moving against hers. She gasped into his mouth as his hand fell between her thighs, his fingers stroking and teasing her soft flesh.

Emotion poured from him, everything she felt echoed back to her, dancing along her skin: love, devotion, need and desire so fierce it was like a brand across her heart. Her magic slipped a little more with her frenzied need to touch him, to feel him, fumbling with the buttons of his trousers before he sprang free and she wrapped a hand around his solid length. He sank two fingers inside her as she slid her hand down him, his thumb moving in time with his fingers, but Zylah wanted more. Wanted everything.

His fingers moved inside her as she pulled her shirt over her head, his mouth coming down over one of her breasts, her fingers knotting in his hair. She needed him inside her. Needed every scrap of clothing between them to be gone, to feel every inch of his body pressed against hers.Need, need, need.

A rumble of agreement sounded from him, as if he’d heard her every thought, and as she pushed up to her knees his fingers eased out of her, pulling at her trousers and sliding them down her thighs.

Zylah stepped back to tug them off the rest of the way, and Holt did the same, a predatory glint in his eyes as his gaze raked over her body until his eyes met hers. His hands caressed the bare skin at her sides and she held his gaze as she lowered herself onto him, sinking until every glorious inch of him was buried deep.

“Zylah,” he breathed against her lips. He stilled inside her with the next pulse of her magic, waiting, as if he were giving her the chance to change her mind still. This male who had always waited for her, who had been a constant presence from the moment she met him, even when she’d thought she was alone, he had always been with her, protecting her, loving her.

She ran a hand along the rough stubble of his jaw, her lips brushing his. “I am yours, and you are mine,” she said softly.

His fingers dug into her hips, pushing her onto him even further. “Mine,” Holt murmured against her mouth.

The last tether she held on her magic was obliterated with that single word. Their magic twined around them, inside her, over every place her body pressed against his, in her bones, her heart as she gave him everything he gave her. The thread she’d felt from him before when he’d saved her life wove into every inch of her soul, joining with everything she was and everything she would ever be.

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