Page 72 of Never Run from an Immortal

Witches had once been coveted in Demesia, snapped up by Vampires as little more than house pets to do their bidding. It had only cemented every feeling she’d ever had towards the bloodsuckers. And though it was her who had bled all over the street, she’d wanted,needed, to protect Nim when she’d failed to protect her own family, when she’d realised just how special Nim was.

Ru stretched his legs in her lap, turning in a circle before folding into a ball again. Quinn lay beside them, eyes open, watching. Whether it was at Baelin’s request, or the daemon simply wanted to be with them all, Rae wasn’t certain, but Baelin and Aidan had still checked in on Nim’s progress throughout the day. Even Orion and Evander had, but Rae knew they were all just waiting for the inevitable, that Evander was distracting himself from his brother’s death.

She stepped outside of the stuffy room for a moment to catch her breath, studying the mural that spanned the corridor, her gaze falling to the single Witch. Everything had changed since the night she’d first set eyes upon the painting, every decision she’d thought was right.For Seylan.Nullifying the Orders had always been Cillian’s idea. And Rae had been fuelled by so muchhatred she’d blindly gone along with it, convinced herself it was her penance.For Seylan.

When she reached the end of the mural, Rae sank to the floor. In truth, she didn’t know whether to sit or stand. To scream or cry. One thing her body and brain agreed on was how exhausted she was. It had been a while since she’d pulled from Aidan for the second time… and both times it had felt…Goddess. Rae wasn’t ready to think about it. Probably never would be.

With her head in her hands, she let her eyes fall shut, listening to the familiar sounds of the manor. Baelin’s voice carried from one of the rooms nearby; he was trying to make plans with Aidan, some meeting he’d arranged, but Rae couldn’t focus. Ru nudged at her hands, and panic washed over her that she’d been gone from Nim’s side for too long.

“She’d have liked him, you know,” Reed said quietly as Rae sank back into her chair beside her friend.

She glanced over at where he sat on the other side of the bed and took in his dishevelled hair and the stubble along his jaw. “Hmm?”

“Aidan. Nim would have loved him for you.”

Rae said nothing. She knew he was right. Could imagine all the questions Nim would have peppered her with. All the dumb innuendos she’d have made. How the halo in her eye would have shone with mischief. Rae cleared her throat. She’d give anything to hear a terrible joke from the little Witch’s mouth right now, to see her beautiful, mismatched eyes.

“He’s asked me to help him enlist more Fae. Royalists who’ll want to fight, any living in the city who want to see change,” Reed went on.

“And you’ll do it?”

The Fae gave a dry laugh. “If you’d told me a week ago that Vampires were the best chance we have against these things, I’d have told you you were crazy.” Reed straightened the sheet overNim’s chest, fingers stroking her cheek. “But they are.Heis.” He jerked his chin towards the door.

Rae shoved everything down, down. Locked it in tight. Every last bit of regret, of dread. She wished she had a joint or a bottle of visk, but she knew there would be plenty of time for both—after. Knew that it wouldn’t be long now.

“I love her like she’s my own sister,” she said shakily, tucking a rogue curl behind Nim’s ear. “She reminds me of everything good about…” She hadn’t ever told Reed she was a Witch, though she suspected Nim had. She supposed he’d have guessed from what happened in the facility anyway. “Everything good about what I am. Whatweare.” Quinn whined softly beside her. “I don’t know how to be here without you reminding me,” she whispered, her hand over one of Nim’s.

Another little whine from Quinn, and Rae knew. “Goddess carry you,” she murmured, a tear rolling down her cheek as she squeezed Nim’s fingers.

The heart monitor beside Nim’s bed flatlined, and Reed yanked the wires free to silence it. It was the most emotion he’d shown, but that little burst of anger told Rae everything. His other hand he kept wrapped around Nim’s, his eyes never leaving her face. “I’d have sat at your side forever,” he told her quietly, pressing a kiss to her lips.

This moment wasn’t hers, Rae knew. She slipped out the door without a word, without another glance back at her friend, because she feared if she did it might break her. None of this was right. It shouldn’t have been Nim in that bed, but Rae couldn’t bring herself to turn back down the corridor and confirm what she already knew. Her friend was gone.

“The new Witch king passed this morning.” Baelin’s quiet voice carried through an open doorway ahead, and Rae almost lost her footing. “The young prince,” he went on. “I’ve just received confirmation.”

Rae didn’t realise her feet were carrying her until she heard Ru’s whimper through the door of the natatorium as it fell shut behind her. She was no longer in her body, floating somewhere outside of herself instead. She needed… she didn’t know what she needed. To get out of her head. Her skin. To wipe the slate clean and start over, to be nothing. Because this pain… she didn’t know what to do with it. Didn’t want to feel anything at all.

Items of clothing fell to the floor one by one until only her underwear remained. Rae didn’t bother with the shower. She took the steps into the pool, not really seeing anything, fingers trailing the surface of the water as it reached her thighs. She wanted to think of Nim. Her brother. Of every good memory, every good moment. But all that came to her instead was every one of her mother’s beatings. Every time she’d almost drowned. And all of them would never be penance enough for this.

With the steps behind her, Rae sucked in a breath, swimming down to the deepest part of the pool, and let herself sink to her knees at the bottom. Shadows flickered across the tile, the pool beyond her disappearing into darkness. The night of her twenty-first birthday replayed in her head again. Followed by her mother’s beatings. Nim, complaining about polishing at the studio. Another near drowning. Nim, squealing with laughter when she’d healed a cut on Rae’s hand for the first time. Rae pressed a hand to her chest, a bubble of air escaping her as a sob broke free, every tear she shed washing away into the pool.

Nim, before her, handing over a frosted cake when Rae had teased her about sharing. In the darkness, Rae reached out a hand, a haloed eye winking at her as the image of her friend faded, Rae’s fingers closing around nothing but water. Her brother, just for one second, she let herself picture her brother.

She couldn’t help it then. The way the pain seeped out of her. Just a little, at first, the water warming around her. A little more, and she knew steam would be rising above the surface ofthe pool. Rae wrapped her arms across her chest as if the action might control it, but it was too late. She scrunched her eyes shut to keep the light in, to hold onto it for as long as she could.

Farren.Aidan’s voice was muffled, barely a murmur.

Too late, she wanted to tell him, but she was too far gone to the magic sizzling through her veins.

Farren, answer me, damn it.

The water bubbled around her, the light so blinding she could feel it in every part of her body. She only hoped the water would contain it. Containher.

Rae, stop.

But there was never any stopping it once it began. Never had been. Rae held on to the image of her brother’s face, as at last, she let go.

Chapter thirty-six

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